Lucid Dream
by Mesoscale
Summary: Shameless author-insert Ben finds himself tracking a serial killer through Gensokyo. Can he stop the killer before he strikes again, or will ghosts from his past come back to haunt him?
1. Chapter 1

I feel like I'm falling.

Which is weird, since I could have sworn I was on solid ground a second ago. I wonder if I was hit by a car or something? I know that the drivers around here take red lights as more of a suggestion than anything else, but there weren't any cars around. And besides, my body feels distinctly unbroken. A good thing, but doesn't tell me what the heck is going on.

Luckily, the world decides to give me a hint as to my situation. Unluckily, it does this by halting my falling sensation and replacing it with an impact. For a few seconds, I just lie where I fell. Whatever I landed on feels hard, like concrete. Maybe it was a car.

"Oh my gods, are you alright?"

I hear a voice somewhere nearby. Looks like I survived whatever just happened. Hooray!

_I'm not sure. My arm stings a bit, but I don't seem to be too much pain. Thank you for your concern. _That's what I would like to say, but all that comes out is "ughabluh." Looks like talking is out of the question, so maybe I should try moving. I roll onto my side, and then slowly sit up using my arm for support. Success!

Opening my eyes, I see that the concrete I thought I landed on was in fact a stone walkway of some sort.

"Oh thank gods, you're ok!" There's that voice again. I can hear it more clearly than before. It sounds like a girl's voice.

Looking over in the direction of the voice, it becomes clear that it is in fact a girl speaking. She's bent over me, with a concerned look on her face. Man, whatever just happened must have looked _really _painful for her to be looking at me like that.

"Strange, I haven't seen anyone dress like that in a while. Are you an outsider?"

A t-shirt and shorts is strange? What, am I in bizarre-o world or something? You don't exactly look normal either. For starters, she has long green hair flowing down to her waist. The color isn't that weird, I suppose. Hell, I dyed my hair green back in high school. The strange thing is that she has a ponytail tied up with what appears to be a snake. Panning down, her outfit also seems odd. It looks like a white vest with blue trim over a blue skirt, and detached white sleeves on each arm.

It must be some sort of cosplay. In fact now that I think about it, it looks kind of like…

"Sanae Kochiya, I presume?"

The look of concern on her face turns to one of shock. "How does an outsider like you know who I am?"

"That's a pretty distinctive outfit you got on there. And could you knock it off with the 'outsider' thing? It's great to be so in character, but it's getting annoying."

"What do you mean by 'in character'?"

"Well, it obvious that you're cosplaying as Sanae."

"Wow, it's been a long time since I heard someone use the term 'cosplay.' You really must be an outsider. And why would anyone be cosplaying as me?"

She gets a glint in her eye, and a smile creeps across her face.

"Is the shrine that popular in the outside world? Did people start to miss us after we came to Gensokyo or something? Do they want a comeback tour? Oh wow, Lady Kanako is going to flip when she-!"

It's an interesting sight; watching her take in information, process that information, and then produce a conclusion that couldn't be further from the truth. Either that or she is one crazy-ass fangirl. Probably the latter, considering the lengths she's going to actually act like a videogame character. And there's no way in hell we're in-

Actually, something seems off. Looking around, there are trees in every direction. And from the looks of their bright orange leaves, they're maple trees. Last I checked I was in Oklahoma, and we don't have many of those.

"Where am I?" I ask. Not something I want to have to ask because it means one of two things: 1) I hit my head harder than I thought, or 2) I've actually fallen into a parallel dimension that is supposed to be fictitious as a part of what I can only imagine is some story written by a writer who has run out of ideas. Please be option one!

The green-haired girl stops her fangirlish monologue and looks at me like I just asked what color grass is.

"Isn't it obvious? You're in Gensokyo. If you know who I am then you must know where this is."

Yeah, sure. Still hoping it's option one I say "I think I hit my head really hard. Does it look alright?"

The girl leans over to look at my head. In doing do, her breasts are right at my eye level. And I must say, it's a very nice view. Wait, now's not the time for that! Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts!

"It looks alright, but your arm looks like it got cut up when you fell. Nothing too bad though. Say, why don't you come to the shrine with me? Lady Kanako is definitely gonna want to meet you."

She holds out her hand, which I figure I might as well accept. As she helps me up, I notice that my arm does indeed have a fresh gash on it. Must have cut it on one of the stones I landed on.

I doubt I would have hallucinated a response that specific, so I guess I don't have a major head injury. Unfortunately, all of this means my mind is most likely working correctly. And that means that-

"I really am in Gensokyo, aren't I?"

"Didn't I already tell you that? And how do you know about Gensokyo anyway? I thought outsiders weren't supposed to know about it?"

That's…gonna be a hard one to answer. How do you explain that you know about someone's home because it's a fictional setting for a video game dreamed up by an alcoholic computer programmer?

"Let's just say I've heard of it, but thought it wasn't real. But from the looks of things, I guess I'm wrong?"

"Looks like it! This place is as real as any other."

We come to the end of the stone path and into a clearing. There's a few buildings scattered around, with one big one in the middle. I can't say for sure, but it does look like some sort of shrine.

Sanae walks over to one of the smaller buildings and opens a slide door and takes a step inside. Don't see a door like that too often. I guess I'm really not in the States anymore.

"Lady Kanako, can you come out her?"

"Sure, Sanae. What's up?"

"There's a guy from the outside world, and-."

I can hear footsteps rapidly approaching the door. I guess that got her attention.

After a few seconds, a smiling woman comes to the door. I recognize her immediately, but don't say anything. She's wearing an outfit that would make Lady Gaga do a double take. From the looks of things, she has on the _brightest _red t-shirt I have ever seen, with white sleeves extending out to her wrists. A flower-trimmed skirt flows down to her ankles. She also has purple hair that several times poofier than I would have thought was physically possible. So far so normal, right? Well, here's where things get crazy. Her shirt has an ornate mirror sewn over her chest. I have no idea what that's for. Maybe discouraging people from looking at her boobs or something? Regardless, the most outrageous part of her outfit is…actually I guess she's not really wearing it, but a large circular rope with zig-zaggy paper charms (I think they're called _shide_) hanging from it is just sorta floating behind her. I'm not sure how that works, but I'm pretty sure if I asked the answer would more or less be 'because magic."

She takes one look at me and says "Ah, yes. You do appear to be from the outside world. Please, come inside. Sanae, prepare some tea for our guest."

She returns inside, followed by Sanae. The green-haired girl takes off her shoes and leaves them by the entrance. I guess I better do the same.

Walking inside, it becomes clear that this is their house. I follow the purple-haired woman a few feet down a hallway to what I suppose is the living room. It's rather large, a square room at least twenty feet a side. There's a low wooden table in the center of the room. To be honest that's all I noticed about the room until I see what's against the far wall.

"Uh, sorry to ask, but is that a flat screen TV?"

The purple-haired woman turns to me and lets out a chuckle.

"My, you are an outsider, aren't you? Yes, it's a television. My shrine maiden, the girl you were just with, grew so fond of it that I decided to bring it with us when we came to Gensokyo." She motioned towards the table. "Please, have a seat."

I sit down at the table and cross my legs. The purple-haired woman sits down across from me just as Sanae enters the room carrying a tray with three cups of tea. She sets the cups on the table and sits down herself.

For a moment, they both sit there staring at me. I have the urge to say 'I know I'm handsome, ladies, but one at a time plea-' Ok you know what, sex drive? You and me are going to have a chat when this is over. You need to control yourself.

After…that short thought process, I realized that they were waiting for me to drink some of the tea. Of course! How could I have not realized that? Now I've never liked tea very much, but I'm not going to refuse their hospitality. I take a sip and _oh sweet nectar of the gods._

"This is magnificent" I say while staring at the cup in my hands. I think I'm in love. Can you marry a beverage? I hope so.

'Thanks!" chirps Sanae with a huge smile on her face.

"I suppose I should introduce myself," the purple-haired woman states. "I am Kanako Yasaka, goddess of the Mo-"

"Oh don't worry. He knows that already. He says he even knows who I am."

Kanako and I both turn to look at Sanae. Girl, did you just cut off a _god_?

"What do you mean?"

"Well he said he knows who I am, about the shrine, and about Gensokyo and everything."

"Interesting. I thought outsiders didn't know about Gensokyo's existence," Kanako says, turning towards me, "so who are you and how do you know about this land?"

Oh, that's right. I've been talking for a while now and I haven't introduced myself. Don't you hate it when people just start talking and don't actually say who they are?

"My name is Ben, and I…guess I'm from the outside world."

Sanae looks at me with a puzzled face. "That's a funny name."

"It's short for Benjamin, which is derived from the Hebrew _Binyāmîn. _It roughly translates as "Son of the Right Hand of God."

Now she gets really confused. "Huh? Which god?"

"I think he means the single all-powerful God some religions have."

"Yeah, that's right. Anyway, I'm a college student from the United States."

"Really? Interesting..." Kanako seems intrigued by this. "Ah, yes, the United States. Such an interesting country. You know, I travelled there once."

Sanae and I are both surprised by this. "Really, Lady Kanako?"

"Yes, it was a few decades ago, a few years after the war."

"Which w-" I stop myself. I know what war she's talking about. "_That_ war."

Kanako sighs. "Yes, _that _war. I felt like seeing the nation that turned my home country to rubble."

I scratch the back of my head sheepishly.

She grins. "Oh, don't worry about it. It's not like I hold a grudge or anything. That's just how it goes in war. But that's beside the point. So, how does someone like you know about Gensokyo?"

_Well I know it as a fictional land from a videogame series called Touhou Project, many by Team Shanghai Alice, aka ZUN, aka __Jun'ya Ota, aka an alcoholic computer programmer. The series gives extensive information about Gensokyo, its history, and its residents (which is why I was able to recognize you two)…_

"Well I-" is all I can say before we all hear the front door slide open. We simultaneously turn our heads towards the sound.

"Bring that motherfucking outsider here at once!" I hear a man yell. "We know he's in there!"

Another man's voice responds. "That's it; I'm dragging him out here!"

I hear footsteps move towards the living room. A white blur passes by the door, then comes back and stops in the doorway. It's a guy in his mid-20s with silver hair and dog (wolf?) ears and blood-red eyes aimed right at me. For a moment we just stare at each other. He bares his clenched teeth, showing off some _very _sharp fangs.

"YOU," the man/wolf growls. Yes, I am indeed me. Thanks for notic…

At this point he lunges straight at me, hands aiming for my throat. I'm pretty sure Kanako is saying something right now, but I can't make out the words. All I can focus on is his eyes, looking at me with an expression of pure rage. I wonder what pissed him off so much. Rabies maybe? It turns out I was wrong about him aiming for my throat. I can't say exactly how I know this, but it may have something to do with his hand curling up into a fist and slamming into my jaw.

_Oh, wow look at all the colors. There's this green blob. And a purple blob. And even a red blob! So many pretty colors! And they're all moving around me. Or am I moving around them? It doesn't matter because this is so fun! And look, there are a bunch of black and white blobs! And…where'd they go? All I can see is a big brown blob that_

"What do you think you're doing?"

Huh? What? I look around. I'm lying face down on the ground. Looking around, I see at least a dozen people standing over me. They all look like that one guy, but some of them have black hair. And they're all looking in one direction. Guess I better see what's so interesting.

It's a girl. She's got wolf ears, silver hair, a tail, and a big-ass sword. And she looks pissed.

"Stop staring and start talking. What are you people doing?"

The same guy who attacked me responds. "It's him! It's the murderer!"

Wait. Did he say "murderer"? No way. They have no idea what they're talking about. There's no way-

The girl looks unimpressed.

"I'm fifty feet away from him and I can tell he's not the guy. Scent's not right."

"But he has to be! I-"

Kanako, who must have been watching from the house, angrily cuts him off.

"Excuse me. I don't know who you're looking for, but according to Miss Inubashiri this young man is not him. And besides, I don't appreciate you barging into my house and assaulting my guest. Please leave."

"But-"

"OUT!"

_Note to self, do not piss off gods._

After a moment of silence, Inubashiri speaks.

"Alright, you heard her. Head back to town."

The guy just stands there for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to listen. In the end, he turns to glare at me and then begins walking away. The rest of the group follows.

After they've left, the girl walks over to me and holds out a hand to help me up.

"You ok?"

I grab her hand and pull myself up.

"I, uh, I think so." I dust myself off.

"Good to hear. Sorry about that. Everyone's been on edge since this morning."

Kanako walks over to us.

"Care to explain why those tengu just broke into my house and attacked my guest Momiji?"

Momiji sighs. "Three villagers were found murdered this morning. The Daiichi family."

Kanako seems unimpressed. "So? They're_ youkai. _Why don't you just wait until their life energy restores?"

"Well, that's the thing. We can't detect any of it."

This seems to catch the god off-guard. "You what?"

"Exactly what I said. It seems whoever killed them also sealed their life energy and took it with them. Also, the killer's scent seemed strange, so we think it was an outsider."

"The scent was strange? What do you mean?"

"Kanako, I'm a white wolf tengu. My sense of smell is better than almost anyone in Gensokyo. And the scent didn't smell like anyone I've ever come across."

"So why did they come to my shrine?"

"Someone said they saw a strange-looking person heading towards the shrine, word spread quickly-"

"And they organized a mob?"

"Exactly." She puts her hands together at her waist and bows. "On behalf of the tengu village, I'd like to apologies for their actions."

Kanako lets out a chuckle.

"Hey don't say it to me, he's the one that got the worst of it," she says, gesturing towards me.

Momiji turns to me and bows again. "I'm deeply sorry for the trouble they've caused you. Please don't hold that against them. The villagers are usually very friendly" Then she looks up at me, practically begging for forgiveness. I scratch my cheek nervously.

"Hey, don't worry about it."

Her eyes gleam. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, if someone killed my friends I'd be out for blood too."

"Oh thank gods!"

"Thank gods indeed" Kanako says with a smirk. I'm not sure if it was an actual prayer or a figure of speech, but she seems to get a kick out of it regardless. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to get back to my shrine. If everyone is as upset as that mob then I'm going to have a busy day."

Momiji seems alright with this. "Ok, I'll head back to the village." With that, they both part and start to go their separate ways.

"Why don't I go with you Momiji?"

Momiji stops in mid-stride and turns back towards me. "Huh?"

"Well, I don't want to get in Kanako's way at the shrine. And you think that killer was an outsider, right? Well maybe he left some clue that an outsider like me could pick up on."

She looks down and puts her hand to her chin, considering the offer. Her ears start twitching a bit. Does that mean she's thinking? Either way, that's adorable.

"Ok, that sounds good. I'll let you have a look. Just be warned, it's not a pretty scene."

"I'll be fine. Do you have any idea how much _CSI _I watch?"

"C-what now?"

"Never mind. So, which way's the village?"

She sticks her thumb over her shoulder. "I'll show you the way."

With that, we both leave the shrine grounds onto a steep staircase. I guess this is where I first dropped in. Actually, I still have no idea what the heck I'm doing here. I should probably look into that as soon as I'm done helping Momiji. I wonder who I should ask.

"So what's your name?" Momiji's voice snaps me out of my internal monologue.

"Oh, uh, Ben. Name's Ben."

"Huh. That's a funny name."

* * *

**What's going on here? Why is Ben in Gensokyo? Will this story become anything more than a shallow author insert? Find out next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So how does this whole 'life energy' thing work, anyway?"

I've been following Momiji down a steep staircase for a while now. I don't get why the shrine was built at the top of a freaking mountain. They should move it farther down. Or at least install a ski-lift or something.

"Well, Gensokyo is filled with magic energy. It's in the air, in the water, in the trees, everywhere. And every living thing has a bit of this energy inside them. It's probably starting to enter you, too."

"Well now that you mention it, I do feel a bit…tingly."

"That's probably it. You get used to it after a while, and you might eventually learn to sense it like we _youkai _can. Anyway, inside of a living being the energy changes becomes what we call "life energy.'"

"What's the difference?"

She grabs her chin and looks up, like she's not sure how to answer."

"I'm not sure how to explain…"

Thanks for the heads up. Never would have guessed.

"But it's like fruit. Whether it's whole or sliced or juiced or whatever it's still the same fruit, but it's clearly different. Same thing happens with different people. Everyone contains life energy, but each person's is a bit different. I guess it's kinda like DNA for you outsiders."

Wait, you know about DNA? You're talking nonstop about all sorts of magic mumbo-jumbo and now you're talking science? Dafuq?

"I mean, from what I've read. I get information on how police work in the outside world from time to time. I'm the head of the police force for the tengu village, so I like to keep an eye out for any helpful tips."

"That explains why everyone listened to you when you told then to stop angry-mobbing me back there."

"I guess so, yeah. Again, I'm REALLY sorry about that."

I wave off the apology.

"Eh, no worries. So how many cops do you have on the force?"

"Just me. We don't get much crime around here."

"Fair enough. So back to what Kanako said earlier, what's the deal with life energy being restored after death?"

"Well, when a _youkai _dies, the life energy just sorta hangs around them until it's reabsorbed into the body."

"Is that when this guy sealed their energy?"

Momiji sighs, her silver ears and tail drooping. I know she's tough enough to kick my ass ten times over, but dammit that's adorable. And I think- DAMNIT PENIS. We're talking about a triple homicide right now. This is SO not the-

"Is something wrong?"

I realize I've been walking for a few seconds staring at my pants and angrily grunting. It's been a few weeks since that last happened. I think it's a record!

"Oh it's uh, don't worry about it. I just tripped on something."

"You SURE you're ok?"

"Yeah yeah I'm fine." I need to change the subject. "So how far is it to the village?"

"Oh it's about…"

Crisis averted! Now listen here penis: you need to calm the fuck down. Ok? Good. We'll be having a talk later.

"…just around the ridge. Actually, I should probably call ahead and let her know we're almost there."

On that note she reaches into her skirt and pulls out a white cell phone. It looks like one of the old flip phones from the technological dark ages of 2003.

"Wait wait wait. You have a fricking cell phone?"

"Yup," she says, flipping open the phone. "They were introduced to Gensokyo a few years ago. Apparently the Border Youkai thought it was alright to bring in some technology from the outside." While she says this, she flips open another part of the phone, so there's three distinct segments visible. From end to end, it's at least a foot long. What in the…

She dials a number and holds the phone to the side of her head. One end is at her mouth, and the other at her wolf ears on top of her head. I guess those aren't for decoration after all.

"Hey it's me. I'm on the way back from the shrine. Nah, it wasn't the guy. But it was an outsider, and he's coming to - oh shut up Aya. No, he wants to take a look at the scene. Thinks he might have some insight since he's from the Outside World. We'll be there in a bit. Bye." With that she folds up the whatever-the-hell-that-is phone and puts it back into her skirt.

"Damn that crow!" she scowls.

"What's up?"

"That was a friend of mine. As soon as I said I was with a guy, she asked if landed myself a boyfriend! I mean, she's at the crime scene taking pictures of the victims and all she can think about is sex! Gods, I hope she doesn't write about this."

"In the Bunbunmaru Newspaper?"

She stops walking as soon as I say this. She looks at me like I just said that I was her long lost father.

"Yeah, the paper. How'd you know about that?"

Oh fuck, probably shouldn't have said that.

"I, uh, there was a copy at the shrine. I glanced over it while talking to Kanako."

…

Did she buy it?

"Hold it right there."

Guess not. She reaches back with her right hand and grabs the handle of her sword.

"What are you-"

"SHUT UP!" she barks at me. Wait, barks? That sounds like a terrible joke. Oh, whatever. Either way, Momiji's glaring at me like she wants to chew my head off. And by the way she's showing offer her fangs she's probably planning to.

To be entirely honest, I have no idea what happens during the next few seconds. Alls I know is one moment she's standing there and the next moment I'm on the ground, and she's on top of me with her right hand holding out her sword and her left hand clenched around my throat. For fuck's sake, what is it today with _tengu _going for my neck?

"You move and I'll cut your head off. You got that?"

"Gluh huh."

"Good, now listen here. The shrine doesn't get the Bunbunmaru. Hasn't for a while after Aya wrote a, shall we say, less than flattering article on their shrine maiden." She leans in a bit closer to my face. "So, how the fuck do you know about that?" She loosens her grip on my neck ever so slightly, allowing me a bit of air.

"I've heard of it, ok? W-what's the big deal?"

"The big deal," she growls, squeezing my neck so hard I swear it's going to break, "is that outsiders aren't supposed to know that. Or anything about Gensokyo. We just had an outsider kill a family in the village, and then you show up knowing stuff you shouldn't! How do I know you're not working with the killer?" She moves her sword in between our faces.

"You see this? This is my _rochin_. I don't carry it around for show. I've spilled more blood with this thing over the years than you can imagine, from creatures much tougher than a human like you. All it'll take is a flick of my wrist, and you'll be nothing more than a faded memory." She moves the sword out of the way, and looks me in the eyes.

"So, care to tell me how you know about Gensokyo?"

Her grip on my neck loosens, allowing me a quick breath followed by sputtered coughing. I turn my head to the side, because even if someone's threatening to kill you it's still impolite to cough in their face.

"L-look, Momiji. I *herk* know about Gensokyo, but I di-didn't know it was *hack* real."

"What are you talking about?"

"T-Touhou Project. A videogame series."

"A what now?"

"It's a s-s-series of stories about Gensokyo."

"What, so you're saying my home is nothing more than a work of fiction? What in the-"

A shadow is cast over us, stopping Momiji mid-sentence.

"My, my. What do we have here?" It's the voice of a woman, but I can't see who. Momiji seems to know who it is, though, as her face changes from anger to annoyance. "And no, I don't believe fiction would be the appropriate word, Miss Inubashiri. Although it may seem that way to everyone I talk to on the outside."

Momiji sighs, pushing herself onto her knees.

"You know," she says, shoving her sword into the ground and pulling herself up, "it would have been real helpful if you had just told me you were involved."

Now that she's off of me, I can get a better view of the woman standing before us. She look's older than us, maybe in her late twenties or early thirties. Her long golden hair is flowing over a purple and white dress, and she's carrying a white parasol over her head. Her expression is somewhere between a pleasant smile and a trollface. I'm pretty sure I'm looking at-

"Yukari, what the hell are you up to now?"

"Oh, I haven't a clue what you're speaking of!"

"You kidding? An outsider slaughters one of our families, then this guy shows up knowing _way _more than he should, and now you! I'm nowhere near as old as you, but I've been around long enough to see a pattern like this." Yukari's eyes narrow at this jab, and her smile turns flat.

"Miss Inubashiri, I do believe that was uncalled for. And no, I have had nothing to do with the recent event in your village."

Momiji looks like she wants to yell some more, but I guess she believes Yukari. Instead, she closes her eyes and puts a hand to her temple.

"Ok, so what about this guy?" She points her thumb in my direction without looking at me. "His story the real deal?"

Yukari looks at me and starts smiling again.

"Well, I'm fairly good at reading people, and this boy doesn't seem the type for wanton violence. And yes, it is certainly true that Gensokyo is seen as a fictional place to most of the outside world." This piques my interest.

"Let me guess. You have something to do with that Yukari?"

"But of course! After all, Gensokyo is a land for all that the outside world does not believe in. I knew word would leak eventually, so I decided to make sure no one believed it was real."

"And you did that by…telling one alcoholic computer programmer?"

"Oh my, yes. I drop by from time to time to fill him in on the latest goings-on." She clasps her hands together, and her face lights up with a smile. "And that ZUN is _such_ a gentleman! He always takes me out for drinks when I visit."

"Ok, so what about me? Why am I here? You have something to do with that?"

"No, I have had nothing to do with your current situation. It seems like the barrier between the worlds is somewhat more porous that I'd like." She puts her hand in front of her mouth and lets out an impressive yawn. "I suppose I should do something about it one of these days. What, you want to go back?"

"Uh, no. Actually, I think it might be best if I stuck around in Gensokyo for a bit."

"Are you sure? Gensokyo can be a hostile place for a human."

"I'm sure. I guess you could say that I need a bit of a vacation. And besides, I figure I might be able to help find-"

Momiji butts in. "So what about the killer we're looking for? You sense anyone else come in recently?"

"Well, I can't say I remember anyone recently. Although I've been so busy lately they could have slipped through unnoticed."

Momiji sighs and starts turning down the path towards the village, signaling me to follow.

"Well thanks, I guess. Come on, Ben. If the Border Youkai says you're not a threat, then you're not a threat."

"Wait a moment, Miss Inubashiri, and whatever-your-name-is." We turn back to Yukari.

"It's Ben."

"Alright then, Ben. Would you please not mention knowing anything about Gensokyo? As you saw from Miss Inubashiri's reaction, people can be suspicious if you know more than you should."

"Well, I've already told Kanako Yasaka and her shrine maiden though. And what if I need to use what I know to survive here?"

"Well, I suppose it's alright if you're discreet about it. But don't tell anyone else about Touhou. That's my little secret. You too, Miss Inubashiri." Momiji shrugs at this.

"And one more thing, Ben. If you're worried about surviving in Gensokyo, go talk to Nitori Kawashiro in the _kappa_ village. She may be able to help you defend yourself. Trust me, you'll need it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do." She pulls a phone out of her dress and starts dialing a number. Momiji and I take the cue and continue on the path towards the tengu village.

For a while neither of us say anything. I guess we were both processing everything Yukari had told us. I'm not sure why Momiji trusted her so much. Everything I've ever read about her was more or less "Yukari is a lying bitch," but for all I know that could be a cover dreamed up by WAIT A MINUTE. DUN DUN DUN!

Momiji suddenly starts giggling, then stifling a laugh, then laughing so hard she has to lean against a tree clutching her stomach. All the while her ears are twitching like crazy.

"Uh, Momiji, you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright," she says, wiping a tear from her eye. "It's just that, you know how she kept saying how busy she was?"

"Yeah…?"

"Well I can hear her on the phone chewing out someone for waking her up and that her bed better be ready when she gets home _or else_. I so don't envy whoever this Ran person is."

"Neither do I. But what's with the mood swing? A few minutes ago you were threatening to cut my head off, and now you're laughing like an idiot."

She stops laughing and turns her head to the side, muttering something to herself. Then she gives a big sigh and turns towards me.

"Look, I'm sorry about that. It's just that when I get serious about the village's safety, I…change. It's like I become a different sort of creature. More feral, more…"

"Violent?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Would you please forget that you saw that side of me?"

"Sure, just don't pull that again."

She grins and she gets a devilish, yet lighthearted, look in her eye.

"No promises."

* * *

**Well that was a bit of, uh mood swing in the middle there. Although that's always been my view of Gensokyo: laughing one minute, fighting the next. **

**I'll try to keep some sort of a schedule for future chapters, but school this year is gonna be pretty heavy. I may end up putting out shorter chapters frequently rather than long chapters at long intervals. Either way, next time shit's gonna start going down. Mabye. Haven't written it yet. :P**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"So no one in the village heard anything?"

Momiji and I continue towards the tengu village, discussing what she knows about the case already. Unfortunately, it wasn't much. From the sound of things, nobody saw nothin'. Now, anyone who knows anything about murder mysteries knows that this is a classic sign of a village-wide conspiracy which will naturally lead to sideways glances from/at everyone I see, meeting with shadowy figures in the dead of night, bringing down some corrupt official, and then getting the girl and riding/walking/sailing/pogoing off into the sunset while stuff explodes behind us. However, given how close-knit the village seems based on the "greeting" they gave me at the shrine, I doubt they'd protect a killer of three of their own.

"No, no one. You'll see when we get there, but the walls in the village's buildings are very thick. Tengu have much greater hearing capabilities than humans, so we have to heavily soundproof our homes to have any sort of privacy."

"Hm, but did anyone see anything?"

"Well, it probably happened during the night when everyone was asleep, but a shop owner says she saw a strangely-dressed man walking towards this path to the shrine. She called out to the guy, but he just kept walking."

"Is it rare to see strange people in the village?"

"Not really, no. It's pretty common to see worshipers heading to the Moriya shrine. A lot of people in Gensokyo haven't mastered flight, and they all have to walk through the village to get there."

"Wait, I thought flight was commonplace around here."

"Well it takes a fair amount of skill at controlling your life energy to be able to fly, and not everyone's up to it. It can also be pretty tiring, so most of us will walk when we're not in a hurry."

"Is that why you're walking back to the village?"

"Well, everything is more or less under control right now, and an outsider like you wouldn't be able to fly so soon after arriving."

"Wait, so you're telling me that I'll be able to fly eventually?" Hot damn! I can see it now: 'Hello, this is my captain speaking. I'd like to welcome me to Ben Airlines, with direct service to wherever the hell I want. I will be allowed as many carry-on items and liquids as I fucking want. I hope I enjoy my flight!'

"You might be able to eventually, but it'll probably take ten years minimum for a human like you to master it."

Sulk mode: activate. Shoulders put in slouch position. Face set to 'pout.' Actually, whatever. I'd probably end up literally nose-diving into a tree or something.

_It won't help me but I have to ask  
Is there something real that's behind the mask?  
Something true we don't know about?  
A little faith-_

"Whatwasthat?!" Momiji's hair shoots straight up and she stops dead in her tracks.

"Oh, that was my phone. Sorry." I look and quickly reach down and hit a button, silencing the music. "That was an alarm telling me I have an appointment in an hour, but something tells me I'm not going to make it."

It takes a few seconds for her to calm down, but Momiji eventually closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and starts walking again.

"What the hell kind of alarm was that?"

"A song. Don't like it?"

"No, it's not that. It just- it caught me off guard, that's all. Anyway, the village is just around the corner."

Indeed it is, and damn if it isn't a sight to behold. It's a series of terraces cut into the side of the mountain going down as far as I can see. Bamboo and wood buildings rise out of the ground, ranging from single-story houses to sixty or seventy feet tall. All the buildings have wooden staircases that go to every floor, not unlike fire escapes. They're all set along a wide cobblestone street, which is full of people. Not humans, as most everyone I see has wings or animal ears or both. Merchants hawk produce from carts set next to the buildings and children playfully chase each other through the street and into alleyways. Everyone seems to be going about their daily business.

They seem to be, anyway, but there's a feeling of tension hanging in the air. People have nervous looks of their faces, and I see more than one flinch and frantically look around at the slightest noise.

As soon as Momiji and I start walking through the village, everything stopped. Everyone looked at us, some with fear, some with anger, and most with disbelief.

"Mommy, who's that weird looking guy?" I glance to my left and see a young boy pointing at me only for his mother to hurriedly pick him up and carry him into a house, slamming the door shut. Momiji sees this too, and sighs. Guess this is bugging her as much as it is me. She stops and loudly claps her hands.

"ALRIGHT people, nothing to see here. Back to your business!"

A female voice rings out from the crowd. "But who's that guy you're-"

"Don't worry about it Rie. This guy's harmless. And besides, he's with me."

Everything is dead silent for a moment, and then people start going back to what they were doing. Some keep staring at us, but step aside so we can pass. Momiji starts walking again, and I follow her.

"Damn, that was crazy! Are you that important around here?"

"You kidding? I've been protecting the village for years. You can't do that if the people don't trust you. If I tell them there's no problem, then there's no problem. Come on." She points to a two-story bamboo building a bit down the road. "The house is just up there."

When we get there a large crowd is gathered outside. They're mostly standing around gossiping.

"I heard it was that green-haired spirit."

"Nah, it was that vampire chick that lives down by the lake."

"You kidding? It had to be that psycho flower bitch!"

"I bet it was-"

The group seemed to all notice us at once. One glance at Momiji and a path opens. We walk through, and I notice yellow crime tape blocking the entrance to the house. Nice touch. A man with short blue hair is leaning on the wall next to the door with his arms behind his back. He stands up straight and nods to us as we approach.

Ducking under the tape, she addresses the crowd with a dismissive wave. "Alright people. Go home. Standing around ain't gonna help." Nobody moves, and the crowd goes back to their gossip. I hear a few talking about me, but I try to ignore them.

Momiji sighs and the blue-haired guy cracks a small smile.

"Never works, huh?"

She shakes her head. "Worth a shot. Thanks again for covering for me so I could go deal with that, uh, group. Anything new?"

"Nope. Aya's still inside taking pictures, and the rest of the _kappa _haven't shown up yet to process the scene. Looks like following that mob to the shrine went well. Who's the new kid?"

"His name's Ben. He's an outsider who offered to help us out. Ben, this is Taki Shirokishi. He's the chief of police for the kappa village."

Taki bows, and I return the favor. Or at least I try to. Ever look up the rules in Japanese culture for bowing? I have. It's nuts. I'm pretty sure I screwed something up, but he just smiles. I guess he didn't expect me to know anything, so he cut me some slack.

"Ok, Ben and I are going to look at the scene. Let me know when the rest of the kappa get here, alright?"

"Will do, Momiji." Taki returns to leaning against the wall.

"You ready Ben?"

"Guess we'll find out. Let's go."

She slides open the door and walks inside. Well it's now or never. Might as well.

RUN AWAAAAAAAAY!

Just kidding.

The first thing I notice upon entering the house is the thickness of the walls. The door is a normal width, but the walls must be at least a foot thick. I guess Momiji wasn't kidding about the soundproofing. The interior looks like a strange mix of traditional design and modern technology. The floor is covered in _tatami _mats, and a low table sits in the middle of the room. I guess this is the living room. I can see a stairway straight ahead, and another room off to the right. There's a light switch on the wall, which surprises me. I flip it back and forth, turning the lights off and on.

"How long has the village had electricity?"

"Oh, probably a year or two. Kanako had some sort of power plant built down in Old Hell. At least half of the village is hooked up via underground cables, and more buildings are getting retrofitted every week. "

Interesting. But looking around, there's definitely something missing here.

"I hate to ask, but, uh, where's the bodies?"

"Oh, they're upstairs. Why don't we head up there?"

She heads up, and I follow. The walls are the same thick stone as the exterior walls, but painted a soft yellow. The second floor is a hallway with a door on either side and a third one at the end. the door on the right is open, and light is coming out. Momiji goes past the door and turns around.

"They're in the room on the right. You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." I reach the door and go inside.

I always wondered if violent media really desensitized you to violence. Not caused violence, that's silly. But whether years of _CSI _and hundreds of the hours on XBOX Live made me immune to sights of blood and gore.

The result: kinda, I guess. It's pretty disturbing. The room seems undisturbed with the exception of three dead bodies. The scene isn't all that bloody, but the position of the bodies creeps me the hell out. It's the family: father, mother, and young son. The three of them are slumped together against a wall. They all have their arms tied behind their backs and their feet are bound together with rope. They're dressed in plain clothes, I'm guessing pajamas. They all have several puncture wounds in the abdomen, but the father on the right has several more than the others. There's not much blood on the floor, though.

"That's the Daiichi Family. Father Yuto, mother Yuki, and their son Kenji."

"Huh. I used to be friends with a guy named Kenji."

"Used to? What happened?"

"Long story. Anyway…hello. What do we have here?"

I notice something on the ground and pick it up.

"You're right about this guy being an outsider."

"You find something?" She comes in to look at what I'm holding.

"Yeah, look at this," I say, while holding up a small metal cylinder. "You know what this is?" Momiji shakes her head.

"It's called a shell casing. It's left behind when you use a weapon called a gun."

"Never heard of it. How's it work?"

"Basically, a gun uses explosives to send a small metal bullet flying at whatever you want dead. This casing holds the bullet and the explosive. When you're done, you eject this and use another one."

"Is it a big thing?"

"Well it could be, and I'm not an expert on them, but I would guess this guy used a handgun. You could easily hide one of those in your clothing with a few dozen bullets ready to go."

"Why on earth would humans develop something like this?!" She sounds shocked. "I mean, you don't revive like us youkai do. What possible reason is there for something like this 'handgun'?"

I shrug. "Simple. It's for when there's someone that's still breathing and you would like them to stop. It's designed for warfare but it's pretty common in everyday life. Back where I'm from, there's some powerful groups influencing laws to keep the people armed and dangerous at all times."

"But, but, how can they do that?! People must get killed by these, right?"

"All the damn time." I flick the casing back on the ground. For a few seconds Momiji just stares at me, dumbstruck. She really seems to having trouble understanding all of this. Finally she speaks up.

"Just what the hell is wrong with outsiders?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Momiji doesn't say anything. Instead she goes back out into the hall, shaking her head. I figure I should look at the other rooms.

"Um-"

"mmmmmmmOOOOOOMMMMMIIIII!"

I hear a loud voice, and a black and white blur shoots from the bottom of the stairs directly towards Momiji. She tries to dodge, but doesn't have a chance in hell.

When the dust settles (ok, so there wasn't any dust but it makes it sound more dramatic) Momiji is lying on her back, with a figure hunched over her. The figure has straight black hair, pointy ears, and is probably female judging by the black and white skirt. I mean, I'm not saying guys don't wear skirts. I once got wasted at a party and woke up the next morning in a frilly pink skirt. I looked sexy as hell in it, but not everyone can pull that off. Wait, what? Never mind. Anyway-

"Aya, would you get off of me already?" Momiji is flailing around trying to get the skirt, and also the rest of the figure, off of her with no success.

"Aw, don't be that way!" Aya says softly. "You know how much I like seeing you, and especially-"

"AHEM. Uh, as amazing as I'm sure Momiji's boobs are, isn't this an active crime scene? With, like, a bunch of people right out there?"

Aya pulls her face out of Momiji's shirt and turns towards me, her face something along the lines of 'excuse me, but I'm in the middle of something here.' After seeing me, it changes to a mischievous grin. That's…probably not a good sign.

"Why, hello hello! Who do we have here?" Aya rushes me in an instant, and is standing right in front of me before I have a chance to blink. She gives me a quick once-over. "So, are you Momi's new boyfriend? She's got good taste, gotta say. I bet she's gonna OUCH!"

Aya falls to the floor in a fetal position from a massive slap to the back of the head. Behind her Momiji stands panting, arm still in post-slap position.

"For FUCK'S SAKE Aya, you need to stop greeting me like this. And no, he's not my boyfriend. He's that outsider I told you about on the phone."

"Aw, you're no fun." Aya starts standing up, rubbing her head from the blow. "Can't a girl get some action?"

"Not when the village is in the middle of the biggest security crisis since Reimu and Marisa tore through here." Aya central command. Set face set to pout. Pout mode activated! Engage pout attack on Momiji.

"Fine. But your ass is mine when this is done."

I'm guessing that was a figure of speech. She turns back to me and whispers in my ear.

"That wasn't a figure of speech, in case you were wondering."

…

"So uh, anyway, aren't you worried about anyone outside hearing you?"

Aya shakes her head.

"Nope! All the houses in the village are completely soundproof."

"How? The doors are paper-thin."

"Well, there's more than one way to block sound. Around here, we get magic spells cast on all the exterior and interior doors. Blocks out everything."

"Why just the doors? Why not soundproof the whole house?"

"Nah, that ain't gonna happen. It takes a lot out of ya to just do the doors once a cycle. The whole house would be exhausting."

"You mean the 60 year cy-"

Aya stops smiling and glares at me. "What did you just say? I thought you were an innocent outsider." She starts coming towards me.

FUCK, why did I say that?

"Don't hurt him Aya!" Momiji shouts, grabbing at Aya's sleeve. "He can explain!"

Aya doesn't stop. Instead she shakes Momiji off and picks up her pace. She grabs me roughly by the shoulders and just stares at me. For a second or two, she leans in until our faces are almost touching. Then she starts smiling. I'm just waiting for an attack. How's she going to do it? Kick to the gut? Knee to the groin? Rip my arms off and slap me with them, what?

"You're a Touhou fan, aren't you?"

What.

Aya starts laughing hysterically, and lets go of me to grab her sides as she leans against the wall.

"AYAYAYAYAYAYAHAHAHA I KNEW IT!" Aya's laughing so hard that she starts having trouble breathing. I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. Momiji looks like she's in the same boat.

"Uh, Aya, what did you just-"

"Ayayaya Momi, are you in on it to?"

"In on what?"

"She means what I told you about earlier, Momiji. But how do you know about it Aya?"

Aya seems to have calmed down enough to stop laughing and pushes herself off of the wall. She sticks out her thumb and points it at her chest.

"Hey, I'm the editor and reporter for Gensokyo's finest newspaper! I was able to figure that one out years ago."

"But why didn't you publish a scoop that big?"

"Well, Yukari wanted to keep it under wraps. In exchange she got me some facetime in the series."

Momiji seems confused by this. "What do you mean?"

"She means she's pretty prominent in the series. She's got two games devoted to her. She went from a minor character to protagonist pretty much overnight."

"Exactly! Isn't it cool to be important like that? But that's not all. Yukari gives me inside scoops on everything going on in Gensokyo too."

"Wait, didn't you tell me she does that because you caught her in bed with-MMPH!"

Aya rushes to cover up Momiji's mouth, a sudden look of fear on her face. Momiji, meanwhile, is just flailing around.

"Momi, Momi, didn't I say you were the only one who could know that? Yukari's already mad enough. I don't need the other three on my ass!"

"…ANYWAY, back to what we were talking about. So how soundproof are these doors?"

"Oh, completely." She starts smiling and rubbing Momiji's head. Then she starts speaking softly into her furry ears. "I could make Momi here moan and scream all I wanted and no one would know."

"MMMPPPHHH, MPPH MMMPHH!"

"3 That's right, my cute little puppy. You're all mine! 3"

"Uh, do you mind if I test that?"

"Sure, go nuts!"

I walk down to the end of the hall to the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

_zzzzziiiiiiiiiiippp…_

"Ok, we need to talk buddy! You- hey, put out that cigar!"

"Oh bugger. I say, you are a boring fellow! Fine, anything else you want me to get rid of?"

"No, the top hat and monocle are fine."

"So what do you want old chap? You haven't been paying much attention to me lately."

"Well, after everything that's happened I just haven't been in the mood. And I just can't have you popping up like this all the time. I mean, I just looked at a bunch of murdered bodies! I don't want to look like some sort of freak that gets turned on by that!"

"Oh, please. If anything, the lasses'll think you were looking at them. Besides, you want 'em, right?"

"That-that's not important."

"You're telling me you don't want to butter their crumpets?"

"Look, it doesn't matter whether I want to or not. You need to control your limey ass better. I'll deal with you later."

"Whatever you say, my lord. Cheerio!"

_zzzzziiiiiiiiipppppp…_

I open the door back up and start walking out. I stop when I see Aya and Momiji in the hall. "Uh, did you hear anything I said in th-"

I stop when I notice the scene in front of me. Momiji is sulking in a corner with her arms curled around her knees and her ears flattened against her head.. It looks like there's a fresh tear on her shirt. Aya is on her knees buttoning up her shirt, nursing a fresh hand-shaped red mark on her face. She jumps a bit when she sees me. I can practically see the anime sweat drop.

"Uh, did you hear any of that?"

…

"Ok, I guess the doors are soundproof. That explains why no one heard anything."

Momiji's ears perk up. "How so?"

"Well unless he had a special and highly illegal modification on it, the killer's gun is extremely loud. Loud enough to cause hearing damage."

"Ayaya, I knew it was a gun!"

Wait, what?

"Like I said, master investigative journalist."

Oh, whatever.

"So, what kind of guy do you think we're looking for Ben?"

"Well, did you see anything missing or rummaged through?"

"No, I didn't. Did you see anything in the rest of the house Aya?"

"Nah, it all looked normal. I took a bunch of pictures, but I doubt I can use any of them in the paper…"

"Anyway, robbery is out as a motive. He came here to kill the entire family and seal them."

"How do you know that?"

"Well with this soundproofing, he didn't need to kill to cover his tracks. And did you notice how the father was more wounded?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"The killer probably figured that he was the biggest threat, so he neutralized the threat. Probably shot him first to scare everyone into submission."

"So why tie them up? I mean, Momiji knows I like tying people up, but if I just wanted to kill someone I'd kill them. Why the extra work?"

"…"

Aya cocks her head to the side. "What?"

"Nothing. But this guy is a sadistic bastard. Probably figured he might have some fun with his prey before he killed it."

"Ayayaya, what kind of monster is this guy?"

"Definitely human."

"No way. Whenever I have to deal with real dangerous criminals they're always youkai. I've never seen humans anywhere near violent as this."

"Believe me Momiji, we humans are more violent than you can imagine. This guy is a monster for sure, but he's definitely human."

* * *

**The real story starts here. If things go right, it will get so dark that you'll need night-vision just to read it. I should note that Ben's conversation with his, uh, thing was the first thing I came up with when writing Lucid Dream. The entire thing came to me in a dream. Why was I dreaming that it was British? I have no idea.**

**Aya's personality is a mix of the more pervy depictions I've seen of her and someone I knew back in high school. She's a lot of fun to write.**

***Legal Stuff* The song used as Ben's alarm is "Never Gonna Catch Tomorrow" by Lostprophets. *Legal Stuff***


	4. Chapter 4

"Ack, a human!?"

I'm standing at outside the workshop of Nitori Kawashiro in the kappa village. She just peaking outside, like she's ready to slam the door shut any second. Yukari insisted that I talk to her about surviving in Gensokyo. But why talk to her? Is it the blue hair? I tried that back in 10th grade. Turns out it's _really_ hard to bleach dark brown hair like mine. I looked like a clown for months.

Whatever the reason, after some kappa showed up at the house to go all _CSI _on it there was really nothing else for me to do. I made sure they collected the casings and told them to look for bullets and anything else out of the ordinary. Momiji still needed to stay at the house and supervise things so she suggested that Aya and I go talk to Nitori, if for no other reason than to continue the plot.

What, you thought I hadn't noticed just how fictiony my life has been lately? I mean, being transported to the magical land full of chicks from the video game series I happen to be a fan of and basically living out the role of the protagonists of my favorite TV show? I'm on to you!

Or maybe I'm over thinking this. But it's fun to act like someone's watching, just in case someone actually is. Like YOU, Jeremy!

Anyway, it was a short walk to the kappa village. It's set in the middle of a high canyon rimmed with thick trees. There was a stream that flowed out of the ground just past the tengu village, and it flows down the mountain and keeps going through the middle of the village. We just followed it until we reached Nitori's shop. The only tricky part was a 200 foot waterfall. There were stairs, sure, but they were slippery as hell. Has no one around here heard of handrails? I mean-

*SMACK*

"Ayayayaya, you're scaring her! Let me to the talkin'."

"Ouch, fine!" I back away from the door holding the back of my head. Damn, that girl knows how to bitchslap.

"A-Aya? Is that you?"

"Sure is girlie! Think you can let us in?"

"I, uh, I don't know. I mean, you're fine, but that hu-human? You live in the tengu village, right? You must know about the human that killed and sealed that family."

Damn. Guess word spreads fast.

"You kiddin'? We just came from there! And don't worry about this guy. He's harmless."

"Yeah, I won't lay a finger on you. Can't say the same about Aya though."

"Fine." She opens the door and waves us in. The blue-haired kappa is wearing a dirty pair of khaki shorts and a black tank-top. Work clothes, I guess. Looks pretty damn se-NO NO NO THIS IS NOT THE TIME. BAD BEN!

The inside of the workshop is surprisingly modern. It's got stainless steel workbenches and toolboxes, and a bunch of electric lights and what looks like some sort of pneumatic tool. On the main workbench is a blue jacket with some wires sticking out of it connected to a 1990s computer with all sorts of numbers on the screen. It looks like something from the Matrix, except it's black and white and in a spreadsheet and looks nothing like the Matrix. Forget I said that.

"So where'd you get the computer?"

"Oh, there's this shop over by the human village that has all…sorts…of…" Nitori trails off, staring intently at my pants.

"Uh, you ok?"

"I say chap. I do believe she wants to see your langer!"

"My what?"

"Me."

"Oh, shut up. I thought I told you to be quiet."

Aya jabs me with her elbow. "Uh, who ya talkin' to?"

"Oh, uh, nothing."

"Is that…one of those 'smartphones' they have now?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Ohmygods! I've never actually seen one in person!" I can practically see her eyes glitter while looking at it. "Can I have a look at it?"

I pull it off my belt clip and hit the home button.

"Sure, just don't break it. Wait, it looks like I accidentally turned…it…fuck it's out of battery."

"No problem! Just give it to Nitori. I'm sure she can fix it!"

"Yes…fix…" The kappa is starting to drool. I know she's supposedly a mechanical genius, but it's my phone. Eh, it's not doing me any good with no batteries. I just hope she doesn't wipe the memory. There's no way I'm redoing all my Angry Birds scores.

Aya has pulled a camera from…somewhere and is happily snapping pictures of Nitori. She's muttering something about a big scoop. I've got no idea what she's thinking, but if she's planning a newspaper article it's probably not going to have much to do with reality.

"Ok, you can look at it. And while you're fixing the battery, can you do something about the reception? I haven't been able to get any bars since I got here."

She twitches her head a bit and her eyes refocus.

"Yeah, I can do that. Just let me have a good look at it and I should have it back to you by tomorrow morning." She takes the phone and pockets it. I really hope that's not the last I see of it. "But I'm guessing that you didn't come here for that."

"What was your first hint? An outsider like me showing up the same day as an outsider slaughters an entire family?"

"Actually it was-yeah pretty much that. So why are you here?"

"Well, I ran into Yukari Yakumo earlier today and she told me to talk to you. Something about 'defending myself.'"

"Oh, hell yes! It's about time…" Nitori seems excited as she runs over to a cabinet and punches some numbers into a keypad. The door clicks open, and she pulls a black backpack out. Good, now I'm ready for school! With an *urk* she heaves the backpack onto a workbench. It lands with a heavy thud.

"This is my special survival kit for outsiders. I call it 'Nitori's Gensokyo Survival Kit!'"

Aya snaps a picture. "You come up with that yourself?"

"I'm not a marketer, ok?"

"Yeah, cut her some slack Aya. At least it says what it is." I turn to look at the backpack. "So what is it?"

"It's everything a human with no magical ability like you needs to survive life in Gensokyo."

"Uh, just how dangerous is it here?"

"Well most of the kappa and tengu are pretty friendly to humans, but if you leave Youkai Mountain it's a whole 'nother story. A lot of the wild youkai hunt humans, and even if they don't they might kill you if they get pissed off."

"Sounds like Texas."

"What's that?"

"Nothing. So how's the bag gonna protect me?"

"Well, let me show you." She zips open the backpack and starts pulling things out and putting them on the table.

"First, we've got a lighter…a flashlight…knife…stun gun-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Where the hell did you get all this stuff?"

"HMPH! I didn't 'get' it anywhere. I designed it all myself based on magazines and things that come in from the outside world from time to time."

"Fair enough. Let me have a look at this." I pick up the lighter and turn it over in my hand. It looks exactly like a Zippo lighter, except it has the label KappaTech engraved on the side. I flip the cap up and give it a flick. A blue and orange flame sparks up instantly.

"So what kind of fuel does this use?"

"See, that's what's awesome about that. It doesn't use fuel like the primitive ones you're probably used to."

"Well sorry that the sum of thousands of years of human ingenuity doesn't match up to something you have lying around your shop." I close the lighter and toss it back on the table. "So how's it work?"

"It's pure energy. It draws a small amount of life energy from the user to manifest a flame. It's actually how the rest of this stuff works. Except the knife. That's a knife."

"That it is." I pull it out of its sheath and hold it up. It looks like a combat knife, sharp on one side and serrated on the other. I could probably stab something with this. Or something. It's a knife, ok?

"So, this flashlight work the same way as the lighter?"

"Yup. It'll never go dark. And it's bright too. See?"

No, I don't see. I can't see anything with that shining in my eyes. It is bright though, I'll give her that.

"Ok, so what does the 'stun gun' do?"

"Um, Aya? Could you put that down? It's really-"

Well, that flashlight was really bright, because I still can't M fnasrbhcvuiegnzkdsjnaukesfvj so'zievh szurjkgbn. Sjkgbn zjklhb jujjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjj *THUD*

"YOU FUCKING CROW WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST- huh. I can see again. Never mind."

"Oooooohhhhhh…I can have some fun with this! I need to call Momi and- HEY!"

"YOINK! New rule: Aya does not touch the stun gun."

"Aw, come on Ben. Let a crow have some fun!"

"Ok."

*BZZZZZZTT*

*Sniff sniff*

Huh. Smells exactly like KFC.

"Owies, that hurt!"

"I'm sure it does, Aya. I designed it to cause extreme pain to stop an attacker instantly."

Well, mission accomplished.

"So what else you got in there for me?"

"Glad you asked! Check these out!"

She pulls out some…uh…sunglasses. I was kinda expecting something more. I mean, they're some badass shades, but how's that gonna help me?

"Now, I know what you're thinking. 'they're some badass shades, but how's that gonna help me?'"

"No, I was…yes, exactly."

"Well, try them on and you'll see."

"Ok, well…wait. Is that a damn HUD?"

"You seem impressed. It's a custom-designed display with a compass, clock, navigation system, and dual-mode enhanced vision system."

"A what now?"

"Go ahead, tap the left lens."

"Ok, let me just OH WOW LOOK AT ALL THE COLORS I'M TRIPPING BALLS."

"Oh wow. Nitori, what did you just slip him?"

"Nothing. He's seeing the infrared mode on the glasses. It displays everything based on temperature. It's great for spotting youkai that can hide themselves visually. Tapping the right lens switches it to a night-vision mode for dark lighting. I know humans can't see as well as youkai in the dark. Also, the lenses turn clear in low light, so you never really need to take them off!"

"Wow. They do anything else?"

"Actually, yes. I saved the best for last!"

Oh, wow. There's more? Is this fantasy Christmas? She's reaching into the bag. What is it? What is it? IT'S…

A gun. A handgun to be more specific, complete with a leather holster. Looks like a glock. I think. I don't know my guns that well.

"Here it is! I call it Great Universal Neutralizer, or G.U.N., for short. You can use it to protect yourself from just about anything! Check it out: I based the design off of the most powerful outside weapons I could find. You familiar with them?"

"More or less." 'Most powerful weapon'? Good thing she didn't find out about nukes.

"Anyway, here's how it works. See this dial on the side? It has three settings: safety, danmaku, and bullet. In safety, it won't do anything. In danmaku, it'll fire weak energy blasts at whoever's attacking you. It won't even kill a human, but it does hurt like hell." She seems really excited describing her handywork to someone like me. I can practically hear her words written in pink surrounded by little sparkly hearts.

"Bullet, however, is an energy blast that's concentrated until it's as dense as metal. It'll put a hole in anyone you hit it with! 3 "

I thought I heard hearts.

I pick a spot on a wall and aim the gun at it. The sights look ok, I guess. Even though I live in Oklahoma I'm not that knowledgeable about…hello, what do we have here?

"Is...is that a reticle popping up on the glasses?"

"I see you noticed that. Yup! That will show you where you're aiming in case you don't have time to line it up. And there's one more cool feature. Go ahead and aim it at Aya."

"Ayayayaya, why me?"

"Because if it goes off, you're fast enough to dodge."

Aya turns to me. "Uh, Ben? Are you going to shoot at me?"

"I dunno." I move the gun until the reticle is on Aya's forehead and put my finger on the trigger. "Do you think I'm still angry about that stun gun?

"YIKES!" In a flash, she jumps behind Nitori. Like some sort of magic, the reticle follows her even though I didn't have time to re-aim.

"Wow, auto-aim?"

"You got that right! It's probably the most advanced part of the gun. When you aim at a living thing and put your finger on the trigger it locks on, and will stay locked on and hit even if the target moves 30 degrees in any direction. But if you follow them with the gun it will stay locked on until you stop shooting or put it down."

"Uh, by chance have you been playing _Modern Warfare _lately?"

She cocks her head.

"No. What's that?"

"Nevermind. I gotta say, this is pretty impressive. But how'd you come up with all of this?"

"Well, I've always had an interest in weapons. Not that I ever needed to use them very much, what with being able to shoot danmaku. But the engineering that goes into them is fascinating. So when something like this showed up at that shop out by the human village I just had to make my own!"

"Huh, fair enou-wait what did you just say?"

"Well, there's this shop near the human village called Kourindou that deals in artifacts from the outside world. The owner, Rinnosuke, said it was a weapon that fired projectiles. I thought it was so cool that I just had to make my own!"

"When exactly did he get it?"

"I was…I think he said he found it about a month ago."

A month ago? That's interesting.

I look over at Aya, who's come out of hiding. She's looking at me, and has a smile on her face that is either "Huh. Well isn't that an interesting coincidence?" or "What position do you think I should tie up Momiji when we get back?"

"You thinking what I'm thinking Aya?"

"Well, by reporter's instincts are telling me that we need to go talk to Rinnosuke."

"Bingo." I glance out a window and see it's getting dark. "First thing tomorrow?"

"Good idea." She pulls out her phone and starts dialing. "I'll call Momi and fill her in." She puts the phone to her ear and steps outside.

"Uh, what's the big deal?"

"Well, you know that outsider that killed the tengu family? He used a gun, and I would bet it was that one you looked at." As soon as I say this, I swear she jumps three feet in the air.

"W-w-what?! But I thought that these took lots of special training and were really rare! How could some average guy know how to use it?"

"You kidding? Where I come from, there's practically more guns than people. And they use them all the damn time."

"Um, oh." She balls up her hands and sheepishly holds them against her chest. "D-do you shoot people like that?"

"If you're asking whether I'm a danger to you, no. I'm actually helping the tengu find this guy since I know a thing or two about crime from the outside world. But if I find that bastard I won't hesitate to put this thing in bullet mode and keep firing until there's nothing left of him."

* * *

**Getting this out a week early to make room for studying. It was pretty fun to come up with all the gear, and even more fun to look up British slang terms for penis. Not so fun to explain to my roommates though.**

**I think I must be doing something right, since a few people have subscribed to Lucid Dream. Unless that was out of sympathy. Either way, things are going to start picking up from here. **


	5. Chapter 5

"I don't know about you two but I need a godsdamn drink!"

The sun's almost gone down on Youkai Mountain, and Aya and I have made it back to the Tengu village. As annoying as the waterfall was going down, it was worse going up. Not just because of the damn stairs, but because Aya just flew up to the top and stood there laughing at me while I climbed my way up. I would be pissed, but if I could fly I totally would have done that to people.

"Ayaya, that bad huh?"

"Ugh, you have no idea. After you left EVERYONE decided to come asking questions. 'Who did it? 'Why did he do it?' 'Who's the new guy?' 'Since they're dead can I have their stuff?'"

"Reimu showed up?"

"Yeah. It was a pain in the ass to get her to leave. So how was Nitori's Ben?"

"Pretty cool. Got this bag of weapons and survival gear. Should help me not get killed by wild youkai."

"Uh huh, yeah. For an hour or two. Once night hits, your ass is dead no matter what kind of fancy stuff you got in there. And where are you planning on sleeping?"

"I was, uh…I-" Fuck. Details.

Momiji lets out a big sigh and shakes her head.

"Figures. Look, I got a guest room at my place. Since you're helping us out with this mess I'll let you stay there."

"Oh wow Momi. You just met him today and you're already inviting him to sleep over?" Aya hooks an arm around her shoulder and leans in close to her face. "I didn't know you were that bold!"

"Oh come on. He's not sleeping in my room!"

"Yeah, but that guest room is the size of a closet. You can't expect him to _just _sleep in that!"

"Oh, that won't be a problem." A while back I slept in a hotel closet for a week. We were trying to fit eight people into a two-person room and we ran out of floor space. It was more comfortable than my bed. "More importantly, what're we eating?"

"Um…" Momiji starts tapping her finger contemplatively against her chin. "You know where that night-sparrow has her cart set up this week?"

"I dunno. Let me give her a call."

Aya reaches into her shirt pocket and pulls out a black cell phone. She dials a number and puts it up to her pointy ear.

"Hey, Mysti! How's it goin'? Say, where do you have the food cart set up this week? Really? Well, great! We'll be there in a bit. Me, Momi, and this outsider she picked up. Yeah, long story. See you in a bit. Bye girl!"

"So what'd she say?"

"She's just at the foot of the mountain," Aya says, putting her phone back in her pocket. "Only a minute or two for you to fly there." Momiji's ears perk up.

"Great! Last thing I need is to fly to the other side of Gensokyo for some food!"

I half-raise my hand and wave it a bit.

"Uh, that's great, but I can't fly. How long of a walk is it?"

"About an hour. Better get going!"

"Uh huh, yeah. Fuck you to Aya."

"Chill out kid, I'm just messin' with ya. I'll give you a lift.

"How-"

In the blink of an eye Aya is directly in my face, with her arms wrapped tight around my back.

"Don't worry," she wispers. "I'll be gentle."

Well this can't be good.

I hear Aya mutter a few words under her breath, and all of a sudden we're flying. Not hovering a bit off the ground, mind you. I'm talking hundreds feet in the air, moving at HOLY SHIT speeds. Up here, the sun is still well above the horizon, and casts the landscape in a golden glow. Looking around, I can see the Tengu and Kappa villages, as well as the Moriya shrine at the summit of the mountain. Beyond that is a vast expanse of forests, fields of flowers, and lakes stretching as far as I can see. It's also extremely quiet, with no wind buffeting me.

"Fun, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but how can I hear you?"

"That, my friend, is the secret weapon of the Shameimaru family: the 'Black Blur of the Gods' spell. It allows me to fly at speeds other youkai can only dream of."

"What's it do? Strap a rocket to your back?"

"Not even close. The spell creates a one meter bubble around me that diverts the air around me. In effect, I stay where I am and the air carries me at near-supersonic speeds."

"If you have a one meter bubble, then do you have to hold onto me so tightly?" I didn't really notice before, but she has some…ample breasts, and they're pushing against my chest.

Aya gets a really mischievous smile on her face. She squeezes herself even harder against me, and wraps her legs around my waist. Then she rests her forehead against mine, until our lips are practically touching.

"Are you saying little ol' me isn't good enough for you?"

Her breath tickles my lips, and I'm noticing how good her hair smells. It-FUCK THIS ISN"T GOOD. I need to change the subject.

"Look you're plenty nice, but I'm not really in the market for a girl right now."

Aya looks sad for a moment, but then cracks a big smile and loosens her grip on me.

"It's all right. I'm more into girls than guys anyway."

"Then why'd you tease me like that?"

"Because you're bushing so damn hard right now. I can't pass up the chance to see something so adorable!"

*flap*…*flap*

I move my head a few inches to the side and see two huge black wings sprouted from Aya's back. Every few seconds they lazily beat through the air. Or air bubble, apparently.

"Nice, huh? They're part of the spell. They aren't really necessary, but aren't they sexy?"

"Um…"

Not happening laddie.

"So how much further is it Aya?"

"We're there," she says, while pitching us straight up.

"Um, shouldn't you be going down?"

"Ayayayaya, that's what she said!"

"What?"

"Just kidding. I know what I'm doing."

Our ascent slows to a stop, and we start to roll backwards. It feels kind of like the top of a hill on a big roller coaster, except we're thousands of feet in the air, there's no track, and the safety restraints consist of a pervy tengu. And it is fucking awesome.

"WOOOO-HHOOOO!" I scream, as we start accelerating towards the ground. I feel like I'm strapped to a rocket that's roaring straight at the ground. Wait, that's not right. "How are you going to stop Aya?"

"Well with the momentum we gave right now, it's probably best to just drop you so I can slow down."

"The fuck did you just-"

"Kidding, kidding! I got this."

When we're a few hundred feet up, Aya abruptly turns us upright and starts slowing us down. At about 100 feet, I can clearly see where we're landing. It's a field of prairie grasses on the edge of a forest of maple trees. The forest is dark, save for a large wooden cart located under a large tree. There are a few stools in front of it, with a cloth banner hanging over them. I can't see inside the cart because of the banner, but I can see the flicker from a fire inside. I can also hear a girl's voice singing coming from the cart.

"_At night in the village the watchman cried "Elf!"_

_A very small elf was asleep in the wood –_ _just around the eleven!"_

All of a sudden my field of vision constricts to the light flickering from the cart. Everything else has become a sea of black. I can hear Aya's wings flapping as we slow down for landing, but I can't see the ground. We touch ground, and Aya releases me from her grasp.

"So how was that? Fun, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. I'll tell you all about how awesome that was when I can see again."

"What do you-oh, that's Mysti's doing. Just play along, ok?"

As we walk towards the cart, I can still hear the singing emanating from the cart. It's a beautiful voice.

_"And he thinks that the nightingale_ _must have called him by name from the valley, or Silpelit might have sent for him. _Oh, hey there Aya! Wow, you sure came fast!_"_

"Girl, you know I always come fast when you're in town."

Nope. Not going to say anything. It's too easy.

"Hey Ben, why don't ya come have a seat?"

I start walking towards the light through the ocean of darkness. Damn that sounded morbid. Let me try that again.

I walk up to the cart and take a seat on the stool next to Aya, placing my backpack on the ground next to me. The inside of the cart is a mini kitchen, with a rectangular charcoal grill on a countertop in front of the stools. There are several skewers of meat sizzling over the fire. If I remember correctly, that's lamprey eel. Kinda feel bad for the eels. I've got one in a fish tank back home named Squibbler. But on the other hand, I am hungry.

"Ben, this is the night-sparrow Mystia Lorelei. Mysti, this is Ben. He's that outsider I told you about."

The girl in the cart has stopped singing and is instead pouring Aya a drink. She's in a reddish-brown yukata and a blue apron. A white kerchief covers her pink hair. Demonic-looking lavender and white wings stick out from her back. Two small bird wings instead of ears, with a gold earring hanging from the right one.

"Can I get you anything to drink, hon?"

"Give him some of this here sparrow saké! Momi's paying for him tonight."

"Well I don't really drink but…screw it! It's been one hell of a day."

"Is this your first day in Gensokyo?"

"Yeah.

"Must be rough," Mystia says, while pouring me a glass of saké.

"You have no freaking idea." I hear a familiar voice behind me. I turn around to look, but I still can't see anything.

"Momi! It's about time you joined us! I even did a few aerobatic maneuvers on the way here to stall for time."

"Shut up Aya. We both know I can't keep up with you."

"Evening Miss Momiji. What can I get you?"

"Saké. Lots." Momiji takes a seat next to me, setting her sword and shield on the ground against the cart.

"Bad day sweetie?"

"Ugh, big time," Momiji sighs, placing her elbows on the countertop and resting her cheek in her hand. "You heard anything about what's been going on?"

"Nope! I've just been out her serving food and singing. _So the elf rubs his eyes,_ _comes out of his snail-shell house,_ _and is like a drunken man,_ _his nap was not finished." _The sparrow finishes pouring the saké and hands it to Momiji.

"Thanks. And you can you don't need to trick the kid into buying anything. I'm buying tonight."

"Ayaya, Momi! Do ya have to ruin the fun?"

"What do you mean 'trick'?" I know exactly what she means, but I think it's best to play dumb.

"She says the lamprey cures night blindness, but she's the one that causes it in the first place with her singing." Momiji takes a drink, and I feel like doing the same. I don't really know my alcohol, but it's sweet as hell. I could learn to love this. It's way better than the tequila that drank. That shit tasted like gasoline.

"Well, it is true that I do that. But I've gotta advertise somehow. And besides, once people eat my lamprey they'll come back for more. You'll see, it's just about done!" Mystia puts three plates in front of us and puts a few skewers on each. "Enjoy! "

Damn, this stuff looks good. I take a bite and OH SHIT MY TONGE IS MELTING.

"Hon, you might want to let that cool. So Momiji, what's got you lookin' so blue?"

"Oh, everything's fine. Just an outsider pulling a triple murder and sealing the victims. The entire village is out for blood. I had to pull them off this kid here." She pats me twice on the shoulder and takes another drink of saké.

"Oh my! Are you sure it was an outsider?"

"Well there was an eyewitness that saw an outsider near the scene, and according to him the bastard used an outsider weapon. And when I tracked the killer's scent out of the village it certainly smelled like an outsider. But I'm not sure. I mean, one of the victims was a four cycle old kid!"

"Wait, cycle?" I remember Aya saying something about cycles earlier.

"Ayaya, I thought you knew! Ya see, us tengu live longer than humans. About 60 times longer to be exact. So we use 60 year cycles in place of years to measure our age. I'm 22, but Momi is only 14 and she's already one of the village's most important members!"

"60 years…" Mystia places her hand on her chin like she's trying to think hard about something. "Doesn't Gensokyo run on some sort of 60 year cycle?"

"Yup! Ya see, the earth runs on a cycle of twelve branches, and the heavens run on a cycle of ten stems. When these combine, they make up the 60 year cycle the world runs on. Make sense?"

"Uh…" Mystia and I have the same reaction to all this.

"…Anyway, I've never heard of a human who could kill a kid like that. I mean I know plenty of youkai that would kill human kids, but I can't believe a human would do that."

"Well, do youkai torture their prey before they eat it?"

"Well I've never been partial to human myself. Mystia, how about you?"

"Oh, gods no. Fear ruins the taste of the meat. It's best to ambush them and go straight for the throat."

I think now's a good time to reach for the gun holstered in my waistband. No reason, really. Just seems right for a conversation about killing and eating humans.

"Oh-ho-ho, don't worry sweetie," Mystia chuckles. "I haven't seriously hunted humans for years."

"Anyway," I say taking my hand off the gun, "that's my point. If it was a youkai after a meal, it'd be 'hide, kill done.' Sure, he went there to seal them, but if that was all he wanted to do he would have shot them on sight. But this guy took the time to tie them up. He felt the need to toy with them before he killed them."

"Ok, sho what den?" It seems like Aya's been downing more saké while the rest of us have been talking. "Wazzit matter if da bashtard is tyin up peoples and shit?"

"Well, I've only ever heard of humans torturing for fun like that." I think the eel has cooled down, so I grab the skewer and take a bite. It has the texture of fish, but tastes a bit like beef. "That's pretty good!"

"I know, right?" Momiji bites a big chunk out of her eel. "So I'm guessing a freak like this is gonna be living alone out in the forest somewhere?"

"Actually, probably not. Serial killers look and more or less act like normal people. He's not going to stand out. And he showed a lot of control at that house. He subdued the victims in an efficient manner, and tied them up so he could have some fun with them."

"So?" she asks, biting the rest of the eel off her skewer. Man, those fangs of hers really get the job done.

"Well, that takes a lot of planning. Someone like that is able to lead a normal life. I think he's going to live around other people."

"Well, in Gensokyo that would be the human village. Why don't we check it out tomorrow after we talk to Rinnosuke?"

* * *

"Ayayayaya my head hurts!"

After dinner at Mystia's stand Momiji, Aya and I agreed to meet at Rinnosuke's shop in the morning. Momiji flew me back to her place and Aya…she did whatever the flying equivalent of a drunken stumble. I saw her hit at least three trees, so I'm not sure if her headache is from a hangover or an acute bark overdose.

Momiji's house is a large single story building back on the main street in the village. Like the Daiichi's house Momiji's has electric lights, but hers has much finer construction. All the floors are hardwood, and it feels like a dojo. I didn't see much of it because I was a bit too drunk to notice anything else. As good as the saké was it was strong as hell. She pretty much showed me to the guest room and I passed out on the floor. Contrary to what Aya had said, the room Momiji had me sleep in was plenty big. It was no master suite, but it was at least bigger than my freshman dorm room.

In the morning, Momiji flew me to Nitori's shop to pick up my phone. Momiji didn't have the air bubble spell that Aya did, so it felt like sticking my head out the window while cruising down the highway. Unlike Aya, Momiji flew low over the terrain, coming within feet on trees and rock faces. She held onto me tightly, but it wasn't like…how Aya did. Momiji's all business when it comes to holding onto me.

Nitori had done some science on my phone, so now it gets its power from the energy around it. She also changed the carrier so it would work on Gensokyo's cellular network. I tested it out by calling Momiji's phone (294-483-9653). She put my number (454-553-3446) into her contacts and we took off for Kourindou. Between the kappa village and Kourindou is a vast forest, the Forest of Magic if I remember correctly. Like before, Momiji flew low over the trees. It reminded me of a fighter pilot trying to fly under the radar.

I'm not sure how far the flight was, but it took about 20 minutes to get there. Naturally, Aya was already there rubbing her head and impatiently tapping her foot.

"What took you two so long?"

"Nitori wanted to talk and talk about his phone. I practically had to grab him and run out of her shop to get here. Is Rinnosuke in there?"

"Probably. Let's go see."

Kourindou is a short building set against the edge of a clearing in the forest. All around it is all sorts of stuff from the outside world. A surfboard here, a wagon there, even a road sign leaning against the side of the building.

Aya runs ahead of Momiji and me, throwing open the door of the shop.

"Yo, Kourin! You in here?"

"Oh, Aya." I can hear a man's voice inside. "Come on in!"

The interior of the shop is just as cluttered as the outside, save for an area near the door with a few chairs. The walls are lined with shelf after shelf of everything you can imagine. Books, microwaves, cameras, TVs, and even a few fish tanks. There's so much stuff in here it looks almost impossible to walk around. Reminds me of my freshman dorm room.

Rinnosuke is a 25-ish man with bright silver hair and relaxed yellow eyes looking through wire-frame glasses. His black and blue robe covers his slim frame. He's sitting in one of the chairs reading a book, but sets it down on a side table when we walk in.

"Oh, Momiji is with you too. And…I don't recognize you. No matter though." He starts getting up. "Why don't you three take a seat; I'll make you some tea."

"Thanks for the offer," Momiji says, "but we're not here for a social call. We're investigating a triple murder and sealing in the tengu village."

"Oh my, I'm sorry to hear that. But why did you come to my shop."

"Well, we believe the crime was committed by an outsider using an outside world weapon. Since you deal in artifacts from the outside world, we thought we'd talk to you."

Rinnosuke doesn't say anything. Instead, he crosses his arms and stares at me. Three guesses what's going through his head.

"Ayayaya, Kourin! He's not the guy. That's Momi's new bo-"

"SHUT UP!" Momiji and I cut Aya off in unison.

"O…k? So who is he then?"

*sigh*

"My name's Ben. I just arrived in Gensokyo recently, and I'm assisting the tengu in finding this guy. Now, the killer used an outside world weapon." I pull my gun out if its holster and place it on the table next to Rinnosuke's book. "It would have looked like this."

"May I have a look at it?"

"Sure. Just don't touch the trigger on it."

The shopkeeper picks up the gun and turns it over in his hands.

"Let me see…ah, yes. I did have one of these in my shop about a month ago. A 'handgun', I believe it was called. A tool to cause severe damage or death." He places it back on the table. "I'd never seen anything like it. Although I suppose a musket is similar?"

"You could say it's similar. So, do you still have it?"

"Unfortunately, no. I sold it to another outsider about two weeks ago. He said he protection from wild youkai."

"What'd he look like?" Aya has a notepad out, ready to jot down information.

"It was an older man, probably in his early 50s. He had short black hair. Seemed on edge about something."

"Well, if I was planning to kill someone I'd be on edge too."

"Yeah right," I say, "I can't imagine you being on edge about anything Aya."

"Hey! I can be serious when I need to! It's just almost never necessary." She turns to Rinnosuke. "So you remember anything else about the guy, Kourin?"

"Unfortunately, no. Do you think this guy is dangerous?"

"Absolutely," Momiji responds. "After talking to Ben here, we believe he's probably going to kill again."

"Oh my." Rinnosuke's face turns pale. "You…might want to go to the human village."

This can't be good.

"Why is that?" I ask as I put my gun back in its holster.

"Well, someone from the village came by a few days ago and mentioned that someone was killed by an unknown weapon. They think it was a wild youkai who did it, but-"

Momiji cuts him off. "Thanks for the info, Rinnosuke. Do me a favor: if you get any other weapons in your shop, give me a call. I don't want any more of these damn guns out there. Aya, Ben: we're leaving."

* * *

**Well It's been months in the making, but _Lucid Dream _has gone somewhere I never thought it would go: Day 2! **

**I tried to be a bit more descriptive in this chapter, and I'm not really sure if it worked. It'd be great if you wrote a quick _good/bad/if aliens ever come to Earth this will be the reason they destroy us _and hit 'Post Review'. If you're reading this it's on the screen already, so you might as well. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Just a heads up: this chapter has some graphic violence in it. If that's not really your thing, now's the time to stop and read something else.**

* * *

"Wait a minute, Momiji."

After rushing out of Kourindou after learning of a murder in the Human Village, Momiji immediately grabbed me and took off into the air. Right now we're flying off in (I would guess) the direction of the village.

"What? You heard Rinnosuke. The SOB we're looking for might have killed some humans."

"Exactly. That's why we need to stop and land before we get to the village."

She doesn't say anything in response to this. Instead, she just glares at me for a few seconds. It's not really an angry glare. It's more like she's trying to tell if I'm serious. Eventually, she shifts her red eyes towards the ground.

"Ok, fine," she growls. "Hold up Aya, we're landing."

We descend down into a small clearing in the forest below us. Aya lands a few feet away from us. Momiji lets me go and takes a few steps back, crossing her arms.

"Ok, so why'd you want to stop?"

"Look, I don't think you two should fly headfirst into the village."

"The fuck you talking about?"

"Rinnosuke said the humans think a youkai is behind whatever the fuck happened. Now how do you think they're going to act when a couple of youkai drop in?"

"Are you kidding?" Aya says with a big grin. "We're tengu! Humans love us."

"She's not kidding. Tengu have a really good relationship with humans. They see us as equals."

"Not right now they don't. I'm a human, remember? I know how humans think. When you show up, they're not going to think of you as an ally." I take a momemt to glance at their heads, specifically Momiji's wolf ears and Aya's…pointy ears. You know, I never really took a good look at them before. They're obviously not human, but they're not like elf ears or anything. They almost look like normal ears if you grabbed the edges and pulled them out a bit. "Humans don't think too good when they're scared. Right now they're probably panicked as fuck. They're going to take one look at you and think 'enemy.' Best case scenario they're gonna panic and run. Worst case, they start attacking."

"Ok, so…what? You want us to just go home or something?"

"No. Here's what I'm thinking: I'm going to walk into the village by myself. After I explain who I am and who you are, I'll call you and let you know it's alright to come."

Momiji stands with her arms crossed, giving me that same glare as earlier. After a second or two, she starts nodding her head.

"Alright, fine." She points off to her right. "The village is about a ten-minute walk that way. We're gonna get a look at the village from the air. If they're as paranoid as you say, I want to make sure they don't ambush you as well."

* * *

I found a footpath near the clearing, so now I'm following that towards the village. The trees along the path hung over me, almost completely blocking out the sky. It's not all that dark, but it is a bit unnerving to walk around-

_What you get is what you see/when every broken part of me/has been exposed and there's no place to hide…_

Is that my ringtone? Oh, yeah. Nitori said something about a program to cycle ringtones. Anyway, who the hell is calling me? I need to answer this before I announce my presence to every youkai in the area.

"Hello?"

"_Hey kid, it's me._"

"Hey Momiji. What's up?"

"_Aya and I are circling the village right now._"

"What are you seeing?"

"_Other than Momi's panties, nothing_."

"Uh, Aya, what are you doing on the line?"

"_Three-way calling_," Momiji replies. "_I thought it'd be good to have everyone in contact when you went in_."

"_Hear that, Ben? You're having a three-way with me and Momi!_"

…

Never let it be said that I don't know how to use an awkward silence. This one, for example, gives me the chance to pull a pair of microphone/ear buds out of my pocket. Since this is one hell of an awkward silence, I even have time to untangle them from my keys. I plug them into the phone and put it back onto my belt clip.

"…anyway, what'd you mean by seeing nothing?"

"_Exactly what I said kid: nothing. The village is empty. I don't see anyone walking around. It should be full of people this time of day_."

"You think they're out here in the forest?"

"_If they are, we won't be able to see them from up here_."

Well it looks like the tengus' unrivaled eyesight has finally met its match: trees. But I know something even trees can't outwit. I tap the left lens on my glasses, activating the thermal vision. The world around me turns blue and green, with hints of yellow near where the sun peeks through the leaves. One tree in particular stands out. It has hints of red at the top, meaning that there must be something hot-

*WOOSH*

Ohshitwhatwasthat? And a follow up question: why the fuck is my arm bleeding? Also, how long has that arrow been sticking out of that tree?

"You missed, Koji!"

Who the hell…ah fuck. On the thermal it was all blue behind me a minute ago. Now there's red. Lots of red. Stay calm, Ben. You know what to do. Clumsily dive behind a tree, pull out your gun, and start shouting into your mic.

"Momiji?! Aya?! They're in the fucking woods! You were right, it was an ambush!"

"He's onto us! Move in people!"

All those red blobs start converging around me. There's got to be at least a dozen of them.

"_We can't see you! Shoot some danmaku into up through the trees so Momi and I know where you are!_"

Good thinking. Still hiding low next to the tree, I set my gun to 'danmaku' and aim at the sky above me. The reticule pops up on my glasses, centered right on a break in the leaves. Time to see what this thing can do.

***PEW***

A bright-red ball of energy flies out of the barrel, tearing through a leaf before it reaches the treetops. I can't see it after it goes that high. I sure hope they saw it.

"_Ok, I see your signal. Listen, the village is only about 200 meters further down the path. Aya and I'll meet you there. And forget talking to the villagers. Open fire on the bastards!_"

"But they're humans!"

"_They will kill you if you don't. Now open fire!_"

I really don't want to shoot them. They haven't done anything to me. Maybe a few warning shots will do the trick.

***PEW* *PEW***

"I found the youkai!"

"Goddamnit, I am not a youkai! I'm a human. I'm here to help!"

***WOOSH***

Another arrow flies past me and hits the ground.

"Do the words friendly-fucking-fire mean anything to you?"

"Fuck you, youkai! You're not getting any more of us!"

Ok, this isn't working. Time to start running. I can't go back to the path, but the trees here aren't too thick. I don't need to get too far ahead of them; just enough so they can't get a clear shot through the trees. The guys chasing me could keep up, if it wasn't for thermal vision. Every few seconds I look back to see where they are, and change my course accordingly. It only takes a minute or two to reach the edge of the forest.

Beyond the trees is an open field. About 100 feet from the tree line I can see low wood buildings. To my side the path I was walking on earlier widens into a road through the village. It reminds me a lot of the tengu village. Speaking of tengu, Aya and Momiji are standing halfway between the trees and the village. Momiji has her sword and shield in hand, while Aya is holding her camera. I tap my glasses again, returning my vision to normal.

"Look, Momi! Your boyfriend's still alive!"

"Oh shut up Aya. You alright, Ben?"

"Oh, just great. Being chased by archers is just my idea of fun."

"Eh, you get used to it." Momiji taps something with her foot, and whatever it is she tapped starts whimpering. Once I get close to them I can see it's a man, curled into a fetal position on the ground, clutching a bloodied arm.

"Please…stop…"

"Momiji, Aya, what the fuck did you do? We came here to help the villagers, not kill them!"

"Hey, that's what happens when you try to ambush a wolf tengu." Aya aims her camera and snaps a picture of the man.

"Chill the fuck out, kid. For starters, he's not going to die. Probably."

"You fucking bitch…" the man softly cries.

"And second, we're not here to help them. We're here to find an enemy of the tengu village. If they want to get in our way, then that's their problem."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Dammit, this is not how I wanted this to go. If the other villagers see this guy like this, we'll have a fucking war on your hands. "Back off; I need to talk to him."

Momiji and Aya look at each other, then shrug their shoulders and take a few steps back. I holster my gun and run up to the man, getting down on one knee next to him.

"Shit, are you alright?"

The man looks up at me and grunts "fuck off youkai!"

"I'm not-" Oh forget it. He's not going to believe me anyway. "Listen, we're here to help you."

"Bullshit! Why the fuck did you attack me then?!"

I pull down my collar, exposing my neck. More specifically, the bruises around my throat.

"See this? The white-haired one did this to me the other day, and I'm on her side. She means well, but she gets real violent real fast. Here, let me help you up."

I grab him by the shoulders and help him sit up, still clutching his wounded arm.

"Hey man, you got a family?"

"Yeah, I got a wife and two kids. Why, you going to kill them too?"

"No, we're not going to kill them. But if you want to see your kids tonight I need you to listen to me, ok?"

The man glares at me, then sighs and nods his head.

"Ok look, here's the deal. They're tengu, and I'm a human from the outside world. Yesterday, someone brutally murdered a family of three in the tengu village using an outsider weapon. We heard that someone was killed in your village with a strange weapon, and thought it might have been the motherfucker we're looking for."

"There they are! Fuck, they took down Satoshi!"

Turning around, I see a dozen figures near the tree line. Most of them are brandishing swords, and two or three are aiming bow and arrows at us. Turning around, I see Momiji raising her sword.

"For fuck's sake, put that down!" I turn back to the villagers and put my hands in the air. "Wait! Your friend here needs to see a doctor right now, and fighting ain't gonna make that happen!"

"Shut up! Why should we listen to you?"

"Because he's a human!" Satoshi yells.

"What?!"

"Look, don't argue with me. I'm bleeding really badly. Just forget them and help me out."

The villagers all look at each other and then start running to Satoshi. I back away towards Momiji and Aya. Aya is busy taking pictures of everything, while Momiji is standing with her arms crossed, looking bored.

"Hey Ben, are you sure we can't just beat the shit out of them and sort it out later?"

After the villagers check Satoshi out things calm down a little. It looks like his injuries aren't as bad as I thought, although he's going to need some stitches. When it's clear that we aren't trying to attack them, the villagers come over to talk to us. Well, talk to me anyway. They're still pretty wary of Momiji, and Aya weirded them out after commenting about how Satoshi's would looks like a certain anatomical feature. I'm able to explain who we are and why we're there and they seem to accept that, agreeing to take us to the house where the murder took place. The doctor even agrees to look at my arm. It turns out it was just grazed by an arrow, and only needs a bandage wrap. One of them calls someone to tell them the situation.

The villagers escort us, surrounding us on all sides. None of us are talking. Walking through the village it becomes clear that it isn't empty, as Momiji and Aya said. The streets are empty, but I can see people peeking out of the buildings. Just like in the tengu village, as soon as they see us they duck back inside.

"Ok, here we are."

We stop at an unassuming single story house. Why are they always the unassuming places where crazy shit goes down?

"So," Momiji asks, "have you guys even processed this place? It looks like you haven't touched it."

A woman's voice replies from inside the house. "I wanted to keep a low profile."

The woman appears at the doorway. Her long silver-blue hair flows over a dark blue dress.

"I felt that making a public display of our investigation would signal weakness to the youkai in the surrounding forest. I hope you understand, Momiji."

"Miss Kamishirasawa," one of the villagers guarding us asks, "is there anything else you need from us?"

"No," the woman replies, "you can go back to your guard duties. But next time, make sure you know what your target is before attacking. You're lucky that no one was seriously hurt this time, but next time you attack a fellow human there will be severe consequences. Understood?"

"I, uh, yes ma'm!" The guards turn and leave, clearly scared by the woman in the doorway.

After a few seconds Momiji asks: "so no lecture about attacking me, Keine?"

"Oh, there's no need. I think they learned what happens when they try to jump a tengu. Sorry about that, we're all on edge here."

"No kidding," Aya says. "Looks like the new guy was right about them, though."

Keine turns to look at me. "Oh, and who are you?"

"My name's Ben and I'm from the outside world. I'm helping them out with their investigation."

"What case is that?"

"Yesterday morning," Momiji replies, "an outsider killed and sealed a family of three in the tengu village. During our investigation, we heard that something similar might have happened here."

"Something like that. Why don't we step inside?"

"So," I ask Momiji, "I take it you and Keine know each other?"

"I'm guessing you already know who she is, so I probably don't need to tell you that we have similar jobs. We share information about wanted youkai and humans."

The interior of the house is Spartan compared to the ones in the tengu village. It doesn't even look like it's been wired for electricity yet. Instead, several kerosene lamps hand from the ceiling.

"The victim's name is Emi Yoshikuni. 23 years old, lives here alone. Her brother found her body in her bedroom three days ago. She was covered in puncture wounds, and there were a bunch of these scattered around." She holds up a shell casing, much like the ones at the Daiichi house.

"Let me have a look at that." She hands it to me and I turn it over in my hands. I didn't take a good look at the casings from the last scene, but now that I think about it something seemed strange about them.

"Oh, fuck."

The Aya, Momiji, and Keine all look at me strangely.

"Do you know what that is, Ben?" Keine asks.

"Yes, I do. And I can tell you two things. One, this is the same type of weapon that was used on the tengu. Two, the fucker we're looking for probably has a partner."

"Ayayaya, are you kidding?"

"Wait, kid. How can you tell?"

"Look here." I show them the bottom of the casing. "When manufacturers in the outside world make these, they stamp all sorts of information into the metal. Brand name, weapon size, etc. This one doesn't have any of that."

"So?"

"That means he didn't bring it with him. He had it made after he arrived in Gensokyo. And this isn't the type of thing just anyone can make. You need to have a lot of skill and tools to work metal like this." I hand the casing back to Keine. "Where's the victim's body?"

"She's still in the bedroom. I have no idea why, but her body isn't decaying. It's one of the reasons we think it was a youkai that killed her."

"Why don't we have a look?" I suggest.

"I suppose that'd be a good idea. The room's back here."

The room is a simple design with tatami mat flooring and wooden walls. There's a low table in the far corner with a lamp on it. The victim's body is laid on top of a futon, so the murder probably took place at night. She has at least a dozen gunshot wounds across her body, most of them in her abdomen. Her neck-

"Oh fuck no."

"What?"

"No no no nononononono!" No way. Impossible. I must be seeing things. All these lamps must be leaking or something. I need some fresh air. God fucking dammit why is this house so big? I don't remember it taking this long to come in here. Fuck, I hit my shoulder on the doorframe, but whatever. I just need some air. Shit, I feel dizzy. I think I'm going to throw up. Ugh, shit I was right. I can't stand. I need to lie down. Fuck, I just want to curl up into a ball. This is too much. This is just too fucking much. I never wanted to see that again. I never even wanted to think about it again.

"It's impossible. No way. It's impossible."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's impossible. Not again. Not-

*SLAP*

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Momiji's hand leaves a painful sting on my face, but it helps me come to. I sit up, wiping my mouth on my sleeve.

"I, fuck, I've seen this before."

"The hell are you talking about?"

"I've seen bodies like this. I-I know who did this! It's impossible, though. It's just not possible!"

"Why?"

"B-because I killed him!"

* * *

Perhaps we should back up to when this story began. It began on a day like any other. It sounds clichéd, but it really was just a normal day. It wasn't too sunny or too cloudy, too hot or too cold. It was just your average Tuesday. Ben had just started a new semester at his college: Oklahoma State University. He had already spent one-and-a-half years there, and loved every second of it. His family lived in nearby Stillwater, and ever since he was a kid, he had wanted to go to OSU. Getting his acceptance letter was one of the best days of his life. The same could be said for his sister too.

Kelsey was his twin sister. Fraternal twin, obviously. As close as they were, they weren't identical. Ever since birth they had been inseparable, doing everything together. So when they both got accepted to OSU, they were beyond happy. Ben was learning about petroleum engineering, planning on being a part of Oklahoma's lucrative oil business. Kelsey was in pre-med, hoping to be a surgeon one day. Kelsey lived in an apartment on campus, but Ben lived at home in a rural region west of town.

One of his few neighbors was Kenji and his girlfriend Karen. He and Ben were casual friends, hanging out at parties from time to time. He'd moved in a couple of years earlier and started selling pot to frat boys. Everyone knew he was a dealer but no one cared, even the cops. He was too small-time to get on anyone's radar. Besides, the town had bigger problems to worry about.

Starting three months earlier, a serial killer made Stillwater his personal hunting grounds. The press called him "The Stillwater Vampire." The victims were all ages, both men and women. The killer's MO was to break into their houses at night, strangle them, and then take bites out of his victims' throats as they were dying and drink their blood. There had been five cases, with no real leads.

On that day, that ordinary day, Ben's parents got a phone call. It was from the police. His sister, his best friend, was gone. It was the Vampire. Her roommate had found her lying on the floor of her bedroom. They wanted their parents to come in and identify the body. Neither of them could bear to see their daughter like that, but Ben volunteered. He at least wanted a chance to say goodbye.

Standing in the morgue, Ben struggled to hold back his tears. On the table in front of him was a body covered in a shite sheet. As soon as the coroner lifted the sheet off of the head, Ben stopped trying to hold it back. It was her. His best friend, who he'd lived with his whole life, was lying dead before him. The coroner started to replace the sheet, but Ben stopped him. He wanted to see her neck. He had to. When the sheet was lifted, he stopped breathing. The news reports said that he bit his victims' necks, but they never said what that meant. It looked like a wild animal had mauled her. A piece of flesh nearly the size of his fist was just gone. He could see an artery half an inch across torn apart, and a vertebra was poking in from the back. The coroner assured him that with that kind of damage she only felt pain for a few seconds, but it didn't help much.

In that moment, he felt pain worse than he could imagine. It wasn't a physical pain; it was as if his soul was being ripped apart. He wasn't religious, but be believed in the afterlife. The only thing that kept him from collapsing was the knowledge that his sister was safe in heaven.

The whole community came out for the funeral. Unfortunately, Kelsey's injuries were so bad it had to be a closed-casket service. It didn't really matter to the people of Stillwater, though. One of their own had been taken, and they came to show their support. The funeral home was packed, with hundreds more standing outside.

Two of the people there were Kenji and Karen. They were both dressed in black, and Karen sported a gold necklace. Ben noticed immediately, because he knew that necklace. He had worked hard for months saving up for Kelsey's 16th birthday present: a custom gold necklace. He only had to glance at it to know what had happened. His sister would have never given that away, it must have been taken from her. And there was only one way that could have happened. Kenji must have taken it as a gift for his girlfriend. He was the Vampire.

I didn't say anything. I acted like I didn't see anything. But I was planning. Kenji had taken my sister, my flesh and blood, and I wasn't going to let him get away with it. But I wasn't going to go to the cops. No, I was going to handle this myself.

I'd been trying to get in shape for months, and I'd taken to nighttime jogging through the country. That night, I went out for my nightly jog. My parents seemed hesitant, but I told them I needed to clear my head. What I didn't tell them was that I was bringing a pair of leather gloves with me.

I started out heading away from Kenji's house. No need to risk getting seen heading there. A half mile down the road, I cut off into the woods and started circling back. I passed my house and continued towards Kenji's. When I got there, I saw a light on, but the blinds were closed. Perfect. I snuck up to his car, grabbing a rock off the ground. He'd told me once that he kept a loaded gun in the glove compartment. Gotta love Oklahoma.

I was planning on breaking out a window, but he'd actually left the car unlocked. Arrogant son of a bitch. Looking in the glove compartment, I indeed found a loaded Glock. I pull it out, take the safety off, and close the car door. Then, I walked up to the door and knocked. After a few seconds I heard footsteps.

"Oh, Ben!" Kenji said, opening the door. "What are you-"

He stopped mid-sentence when he saw me pointing the gun in his face.

"Inside. Now." There was no emotion in my voice.

"Ben, what-"

"_NOW!_" I shouted, pistol-whipping him across the face.

"Ok, ok." He put his hands up and started backing into his kitchen. I followed, closing the door behind me.

Karen walked into the kitchen and screams.

"Ben, what are you doing?"

"Why don't you ask Kenji? He knows _exactly_ why I'm here."

"Kenji, what the fuck did you do?"

"Babe, I have no idea what he-"

I pointed the gun at his knee and pulled the trigger.

***BANG***

Kenji fell to the ground groaning.

"Now, Kenji. I _don't_ appreciate being lied to. Or maybe you already forgot. Let me refresh your memory."

I pointed the gun at Karen. Then I held out my other hand.

"The necklace. Hand it over."

Karen hesitated, so I cocked the hammer on the gun.

"The necklace. Hand it _the fuck_ over!"

This gets her moving. She reached up and unclasped it before placing it in my hand.

"Thank you." I pointed the gun back at Kenji. "You see this? I remember this necklace. I mowed lawns for months to save up for it. I gave this to Kelsey on her 16th birthday. And then you _took_ it from her when you _killed_ her!"

***BANG***

Kenji gasped from pain, looking down at the blood pooling from his stomach.

"What are you *cough* talking about?"

***BANG***

This time I went for his shoulder.

"Kenji, Kenji. What did I say about lying?"

"Stop!" Karen yells. "Kenji didn't kill your sister!"

"For fuck's sake, you're annoying!"

I pointed the gun at her forehead and pulled the trigger.

***BANG***

Karen's lifeless body fell to the floor. I turned back to Kenji, who had started crying.

"See? This is what it feels like to have someone taken from you."

Kenji looked up at me with the angriest look you could imagine and screamed "you won't get away with this!"

"Watch me."

***BANG***

***BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG***

Once I was done with that, I walked over to the sink and turned on the faucet. I threw the gun under the water and checked that there wasn't any blood on me. I left the house and jogged home. I threw my gloves in the trash under a pizza box and went inside.

A few days later there was a knock on the door. It was a detective. He explained that there had been a murder down the street, and asked if we had seen or heard anything. I told them I hadn't, and he left. He knew what we had gone through, and didn't want to intrude on our lives for long. While Kelsey's death had been front-page news, Kenji and Karen were barely mentioned. I guess no one cared for a dealer and his girlfriend. I know I didn't.

Days passed, then weeks. The Vampire ran cold. People began to wonder what had happened. Apparently the police never found any connection between Kenji and the murders, but I didn't care. I knew what he was, and that he would never hurt anyone again.

Two nights ago I was out on my usual jog. Suddenly the familiar woods around me disappeared, replaced with a shimmering purple void. Suddenly, I felt like I was falling. When I came to, I was on Youkai Mountain near the Moryia shrine.

"What did it feel like?" Keine asks.

"What did what feel like?"

"Murdering two human beings."

I chuckle.

"Like swatting a mosquito."

* * *

**So now we know more about Ben. He really fits in Gensokyo: seems harmless, but a violent psycho on the inside.**

**The song used for the ringtone is "Higher" by Wideawake. You know, I had the idea for an app that would cycle your ringtones before I even started writing _Lucid Dream._ Then I jailbroke my phone and found out that it actually exists. I also met the real-life version of Kenji months after I came up with the character. I think Yukari's fooling around again.**


	7. Chapter 7

"Are you still sure Kenji was a human, Ben?"

"What the fuck are you talking about Keine?"

"Well from what you said, you're pretty confident that you killed him."

"Yeah, he was pretty fucking dead when I finished with him."

"If that's the case, how is he still killing people?"

"I-"

Fuck, she's right. He was definitely dead, so how's he back now?

"You saying he's a youkai?"

"I think Keine's on to something," Momiji says. "If he was human, we would have been dead for good. But for a youkai…"

"It'd be nothing," Aya says. "Hell, I've been there plenty of times."

"No kidding," Momi says, rolling her eyes. "Every once in a while she fucks up a dive and spears a mountain at Mach 3."

"Even if he is a youkai," Keine says, "he's not hunting like any youkai I've ever heard of. Perhaps I should give Miss Hakurei a call and get her and her witch friend canvassing the forests."

"Oh fuck, anything but that."

"Ben, forgive me, but you seem new to Gensokyo. You should know that Reimu Hakurei is one of the most reliable humans around."

"Maybe, but this is-" Shit, I almost said too much again. Actually, forget it. Keine's probably the most pro-human person in Gensokyo. She'd be a good ally.

"I-Listen. Let's go inside, ok?"

"Sure."

Damn. This was hard the last time I tried to explain it. Here's hoping this goes a bit better.

"What I'm about to say doesn't leave this room, alright Keine?"

"Um, I suppose so?" She turns to the tengu for clarification. Momiji nods, while Aya winks and zips her mouth shut. Apparently convinced that what I'm not talking out my ass, she turns back to face me and says "alright, I'm listening."

"Ok, so here's the deal. You know how Gensokyo is hidden from the outside world?"

"Yes?"

"Well, it's not. People know about it, me included. We can't directly see anything so information is spotty, but there's a lot of discussion about what is known. And from everything I've heard about Reimu and Marisa they'd fuck this up big-time. Most of what they do is go around beating people up until they find one they're looking for, beating them up, and then have tea with them, am I wrong?"

"Well, I suppose not."

"That's not what we're dealing with here. The guy we're after is a violent psychopath who's targeting humans and youkai alike. He's able to move undetected and has access to some deadly weapons. If they go in with the mindset they usually have, they're dead."

"Shouldn't I at least warn Reimu of the danger?"

"I, uh, sure. But if it sounds like she's about to run after him, have her call me. Number's 454-553-3446."

"What makes you think she'd listen to you over me?"

"Call it a hunch but I'd bet that she'd listen to a human more than a were-hakutaku."

Keine crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at me.

"Just so I'm clear: exactly how detailed is your information? How much do you know about me?"

"That depends. Is Fujiwara no Mokou your girlfriend?"

Methinks Keine didn't see this coming. Instead of responding, she just stands there like a deer in the headlights. Well, hakutaku in the headlights but you get the idea. After a few seconds she starts blushing like someone just exposed her most embarrassing secret. Which makes sense because I think I just did exactly that. Oops!

"W-we-well, n-no. I-I mean, not really. I mean, we're really good friends but I never said how I felt about her. She acts mean, but she's really nice and cool and-"

Holy crap, I knew it! All the Mokou X Kaguya shippers out there can suck my-oh fuck Aya's writing something in her notebook.

"Aya, what are you writing?"

"Oh, nothing" she says, winking at me. Fuck, she's probably going to write some embarrassing piece in her paper. I can see the headline now: "Local Schoolteacher has the Hots for Hot Immortal Girl." It'd be like middle school all over again. And she would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for that meddling kid and his stupid dog! Er, white wolf tengu.

"Keine, before you get too love-struck you might want to deal with this crow," Momiji says, pointing her thumb at Aya. Upon recognizing an impending cluster-fuck Keine rushes Aya and grabs her by the collar, causing the crow tengu to drop her pen and notebook.

"L-l-listen A-Aya, if you put this in your paper I swear I'll head-butt you so hard that-"

"Ayayayaya! Calm down! I'm not going to publish anything. Yet."

"Yet?"

"Well, yeah! After the wedding I'll do a big story. I'm thinking it'll be front page news: 'Local Schoolteacher and Hot Immortal Girl Wed.'"

"W-wedding? B-but how can we-"

Aaaand Keine's face has reached #FF0000. And I've spent too much time on my computer.

"Don't worry about getting together. I can help you out with that!"

"R-really? You can do that Aya?" Keine releases Aya, who immediately picks her notebook back up.

"But of course! I'm an expert matchmaker. Hell, I got Momi and the Newbie over there together!"

Momiji and I instinctively look at each other.

"You want at her kid?"

"Nah, you can have her."

"Ayaya, see what I-***HURK***"

I must say, that was a textbook elbow to the throat. I think we'll get a few minutes of quiet if tengu throats are anything like human ones. I remember as a kid I once took a fastball to the windpipe during a ballgame. I wasn't doing much talking for a while after that.

"Anyway, do you have any more doubts about my information?"

Keine, whose face has about turned back to normal, shakes her head and says "no, I suppose not. If you know as much about others as you do about, um, me then that'll make the investigation easier. Where are you planning to go from here?"

"I don't know about you," Momiji says, "but I think we should go talk to that rich vampire chick."

"Remilia Scarlet?"

"Yeah, her. This fucker we're after is sounding more and more like a vampire, and they're all loyal to each other. If a weak vampire showed up at her door, I bet she'd take him in."

"That sounds like a good idea," I say. "While we're there I'd like to talk to some of the other residents at her mansion. I've always heard one of them is a weapons expert. They might give us a lead on the bullets."

"Really? In that case, you three should probably head out there. I'll try to get the guards to calm down, but go ahead and call ahead if you come back."

"Alright Keine. I'll be in touch. Ben, Aya, lets head out. The vampire's mansion is out by Misty Lake, right?"

"***HRKES***"

"I think Aya means 'yes'. And I also think you crushed her windpipe."

"Oh, she's fine. I just crushed her larynx. This should give us a few minutes of peace and quiet."

One flight montage later…

"Halt! State your business!"

That voice comes from a girl at the entrance to the vampire's mansion. She's at least six feet tall, with braided red hair flowing down to her waist. Upon seeing us she took a fighting stance, with her green Chinese-style dress reveals her luscious thighs and-NOPE NOPE NOPE. Calm down man. Just imagine the Supreme Court justices naked…and we're good. Anyway, looking at the girl I can only think one thing: holy fuck, Hong Meiling's awake.

The mansion looks nothing like any other building I've seen in Gensokyo. The estate must cover several acres, with many gardens and vast lawns. The building itself reminds me of a gothic cathedral with numerous stained-glass windows and stone arches. Around the edge of the property is a ten foot brick wall, with a wrought iron gate covering the only gap. A clock tower, er, towers over the building, the clock face covered in intricate designs and roman numerals. I check the time against my watch, and it's just what I thought: Gensokyo isn't on US Central time.

"Hey there China!" Aya shouts, making up for lost time with her now-working vocal chords. "We're here to talk to Remi about-*hurk*!"

Another well-placed blow to Aya's throat, this one from Meiling's fist. Unlike after Momiji's hit, Aya falls to the ground and stops moving. A small trail of blood starts leaking from the side of her mouth.

"What the-"

"Calm down, kid," Momiji says, rubbing her forehead with her hand. "She's a youkai. Even if that hit kills her she'll be back soon enough." She turns to face Meiling. "I would be mad at you, but that crow needs to learn to shut up from time to time."

"Damn right she does. My reputation still hasn't recovered since she wrote that article about me. Dammit, I have NEVER slept on the job!" I'm not sure who she directed this at, or if it's just Meiling venting steam.

"I'm sure you haven't," I say. I'm actually sure she has but now's not the time to bring it up. "We need to Ms. Scarlet."

"Not happening!" Meiling yells. "No one gets in to see the Mistress! Not no one, not no how!"

"Listen," Momiji says, "I know you take your guard job seriously, Miss…uh…"

"Meiling. Hong Meiling."

"…Miss Meiling. I'm a guard too, of sorts. I run security for the tengu village. And we're here on behalf of the village to talk to Remilia Scarlet."

"What kind of business do the tengu have with the Mistress? And why is this human with you?"

"I'm from the Outside World. I'm helping the tengu track a suspect who has killed at least seven humans and sealed three tengu."

"Just what the hell does that have to do with the Mistress?"

"We believe the killer we're looking for might me a vampire," Momiji says.

"So what?! You think that the mistr-"

***SHRK***

Knives are sneaky little critters. You never know where one's going to pop up. Like in the back of Meiling's neck for instance. Once it appears she falls forward and lands face first on the ground. I'm guessing that was her 'off' button.

"Meiling," an unseen woman says, "we've talked about this yelling. The Mistress finds it extremely distracting when she's trying to enjoy her tea."

The woman walks up to the gate at unlocks it. She has silver hair braided with green bows at the ends. She's in a blue dress with a white apron and a white headdress. She walks over to Meiling and pulls the knife out of the guard's neck, and wipes it clean on her apron before pocketing it. She then turns to greet me and Momiji, giving us a slight bow.

"I'm terribly sorry about that," she says. "She's been a bit…energetic lately. I hope she didn't cause you too much trouble."

She just killed Aya, but I can't exactly blame her for that. S'all good.

"I am Sakuya Izayoi, head Maid here at the Scarlet Devil Mansion." She cocks her head to look at Aya. "I assume you two are friends of Miss Shameimaru there?"

"Yeah. I'm Momiji Inubashiri, Chief of Police for the Tengu Village."

"I'm Ben. I'm an Outsider helping the tengu with an investigation."

"What type of investigation would that be?"

"We're trying to track down a serial killer. He's killed seven humans and sealed three tengu. We think the killer may be a vampire."

Sakuya crosses her arms. "Did you come here to accuse the Mistress? Because I can assure you that she has never harmed any tengu."

"We're not here to accuse Remilia of anything," I say. "We merely came here because we thought that she might be able to offer some insight on the case."

After a moment's pause Sakuya says "that seems fair. I'll bring you both to the Mistress." She turns and starts walking back towards the mansion. She pauses over Meiling's body to say "darling, when Miss Shameimaru comes to tell her to come inside." The then continues walking.

"How can she hear anything?" I ask. "Didn't you kill her?"

"What? Oh my, no. I merely severed her spine. She's paralyzed, but she can still hear me."

"Well shit," Momiji says. "Remind me not to piss you off."

"That is generally advisable."

The interior of the mansion is just as extravagant as the exterior. The floors have a deep red carpet on them, and the walls are a soft brown with what looks like gold leaf along the edges. Every twenty feet or so a painting hangs at eye level. I see at least a dozen fairies, all dressed in blue maid outfits, running around doing various maid-related things. After making a few turns and going up a flight of stairs, we arrive at a set of glass doors leading to a large covered stone balcony outside. Sakyua opens one of the doors and leans outside.

"Mistress," she says, "there are two guests here to see you."

"Tell them to come sit down," a girl's voice responds.

Sakyua leans back in and waves us through. On the balcony is a large circular table with four chairs around it, one of which holds a light-blue-haired girl. With large red eyes and bat wings protruding from her back there's no doubt: she is definitely the Scarlet Devil. Momiji and I take seats across from her. The table itself has a white lace tablecloth covering it and several silver platters of fruit, including a large watermelon.

"Sakuya," she says to the maid, "bring our guests some teacups."

"Certainly, Mistress." Sakuya bows and heads back inside.

"So," Remilia asks, "to what do I owe the pleasure of having unexpected guests?"

"I'm Momiji Inubashiri, Chief of Police for the Tengu Village. This is Ben. He's an Outsider helping with an investigation."

"And what sort of investigation would that be?" Remilia asks, before picking up her cup and taking a sip.

"Murder," Momiji says. "Someone killed a woman in the human village a few days ago, and sealed three tengu yesterday."

"Oh?" Remilia says nonchalantly. "That's too bad." She takes another sip of tea.

"The killer also killed six humans in the Outside World," I add, "and we have reason to believe that the killer is a vampire." This makes Remilia put down her tea.

"Well," she says, "that's a bit more interesting."

There's a knock on the door.

"Mistress, another guest has arrived." Then, without saying anything else Sakuya comes out and sets three teacups on the table and fills them. She then moves the Remilia's side, revealing Aya standing in the doorway. She sits in the empty chair between Momiji and Remilia.

"Sorry I'm late!" she says, talking much more quietly than before.

"Well, I guess getting throat punched to death will do that," I respond. She should be used to it by now. Best as I can tell that's how tengu say hello to each other.

"So the reporter has decided to join us," Remilia says.

"I'm not really reporting right now," Aya responds. "I'm acting as a temporary member of the tengu police force."

"So what exactly is it that you're investigating?" Remilia asks.

"Aya," Momiji says, "show them the crime scene photos."

"Alrighty then!" Aya pulls out her camera and starts hitting buttons on the back. I never got a good look at it before but it looks like it's some sort of digital camera. After finding what she was looking for, Aya hands the camera to Remilia.

"That's the Daiichi family in the Tengu Village. Yesterday morning they were found in their house, killed with some sort of weapon from the Outside World."

"Alright then," Remilia says, handing the camera back to Aya. "What makes you think a vampire did this?"

"Because," Momiji replies, "we believe it to be the same weapon used in another killing a few days before in the Human Village." Aya hits a button and shows me and Momiji the screen. I immediately gag and put my hand over my mouth. It's the human woman's neck, and I wasn't fucking kidding when I said I never wanted to see that again. Seeing my reaction, Aya quickly hands the camera back. The vampire girl raises an eyebrow at the picture. Her maid takes interest too, but doesn't seem shocked by anything.

"Well I can certainly see why you thought it was a vampire," Remilia says. "I must admit, I've never seen anyone feed like this. Was her blood drained?"

"Yes," I say, having regained my composure. "What's more…" I pause and take a deep breath, having to calm myself from thinking about the scene again. "The body hasn't started decomposing yet."

"Might I ask a question of you Ben?" Remilia asks, haughtily smiling and resting her chin on her interlocked hands. I can see her sharp fangs poking out from between her lips.

"Sure, I guess." I take a sip of the tea. Stuff's pretty damn good.

"Why are you helping the tengu with their investigation when this is clearly hard for you? If you're an Outsider then you have no allegiance to the Human Village or the Tengu Village. Gensokyo is a difficult place for a human to acclimate to. Why not run off, shut your eyes, and pretend none of this happened?"

"M-my sister was one of the people this guy killed in the outside world. It was the e-exact same way."

Remilia's face softens for a few seconds.

"I see," she says, before returning to the self-important smile of hers. "Second question: if your sister really was killed like this and you believe a vampire did it, why would you talk me? Aren't you scared seeing a terrifying monster like me?"

"I don't think you're a monster," I say.

I gotta say, I've never seen a face quite like Remilia's. It's a mix of surprise, sadness, confusion, shock, and maybe a bit of elation.

"W-what are you talking about? I'm a vampire! I've almost never met a human that doesn't fear creatures like me that kill them."

"But you almost never kill people."

Remilia's smile turns to a frown, and she gives me that look that people have been giving me when I let on that I know things about them. Then she turns to Sakuya with a childish look of confusion on her face.

"How does an Outsider like him know that?"

"I don't know, Mistress." I can see her reaching into the pocket she put her knives in. "Perhaps I can interrogate him to find the answer."

"That won't be necessary," Momiji says, reaching for her sword. She looks at me as if to ask 'you gonna tell them?' I nod, but I'm not going to tell them the truth.

"Hivemind telepathy," I say.

"Huh?" Remilia asks. "What's that?"

"It's an ability of mine," I answer. "I can tune into people's collective thoughts. That's how I know you almost never kill humans."

"Interesting," Remilia says, her eyes focusing intently on me. "What else can you tell about me?"

"Well," I say, racking my brain for every Remilia Scarlet-related fact, "you're known as the Scarlet Devil. You got that nickname because you're a bit of a messy eater with your blood. You're not a big fan of killing humans, and can be quite sociable with them."

"That's quite true," Remilia says. "I really do like humans, and not just as lunch. I tried everything to get humans to like me. I held parties, I gave advice to royalty, I modeled swimsuits, everything. But all of them were afraid of me. In the end the only one who stayed was Sakuya, but that's just because everyone feared her as much as me."

"Ayayaya, the heck did you do to scare them off? Model in a swimsuit?"

After a few facial twitches, Sakuya responds: "No, that was not the reason. The reason they feared me was I thoroughly enjoyed human blood."

"Indeed she did," Remila says, smiling. "Years ago, she went by the name Elizabeth Báthory."

"No fucking way," I say. "The Blood Countess? The one who killed hundreds of girls and bathed in their blood?"

"It would seem my reputation has endured into the modern era, My Lady."

"Indeed it has Sakuya," Remilia responds before standing up. "You know what? Just for that I'll help you. But first, I have a favor to ask of you Ben."

"Sure," I say. "What can I do for ya?"

Remilia walks around the table and stands behind me. She puts her hands on my shoulders, leans in to my ear and whispers "I'm terribly hungry." Before I can react, Remilia tips the chair on its back and pulls me out before sitting on my waist. I try to push her off but she grabs my wrists and holds them against the ground. Despite her small stature, she's really fucking strong.

"What the fuck?!" Momiji yells. She starts reaching for her sword again, but is restrained by Sakuya, who simply says "I would advise you not to interfere. The Mistress is not going to seriously harm your friend."

"I haven't had fresh blood in a looooong time," Remilia whispers. She starts blushing and breathing heavily leaning forward until our lips are practically touching. I can practically taste her sweet breath. She then moves her head and starts licking the side of my neck. Before I can say anything I feel a sharp pain in my throat, followed by the warmth of her lips. Or maybe that's just the blood. After a few seconds she comes back in front of my face. Her face is covered in blood-red, well, um, blood that starts dripping down on my shirt. For a few seconds neither of us says anything, until I hear a muffled 'tally-ho!' from beneath Remilia. AW FUCK REALLY? Remilia's eyes widen in surprise, and then she smiles and moves her mouth next to my right ear.

"Wow," she whispers, "I didn't realize you would like this that much."

"I don't. One of my rules to live by is 'don't get turned on by things that can kill you.'" That guy is getting out of hand. I'm going to have to really chew him out for this.

***CLICK***

Remilia and I simultaneously look up at Aya, who is taking pictures of us while practically drooling.

"Huh?" she asks. "Why'd you stop?"

"Sakuya-"

"Already on it My Lady."

***SHRK**SHRK**SHRK***

***KATHUD***

"Thank you, Sakuya. Now would you please destroy that camera before she revives?"

"You don't need to do that," Momiji sighs. "I'll delete them."

"You know how to work that device?" Remilia asks, pushing herself up off of me.

"Do you have any idea how many of her pictures I've had to delete?" Momiji presses a few buttons on the camera before setting it down on the table. "So now that you've had…lunch, can we get back to business?"

"Of course! Sakyua, would you please bring me a towel and some bandages for our guest?"

"Yes, My Lady." Sakuya leaves again.

"Looks like the bleeding stopped," Momiji says while holding out her hand. I grab it and pull myself up.

"I think so. I donate blood to hospitals often enough, so I should be fine."

"So," Remilia says, having taken a seat back at the table, "what do you want to know?"

"You said you understood why we thought we were looking for a vampire," I say. "Does that mean he's not one?"

"Correct," Remilia says, leaning against her arms on the table. "A true vampire like myself would only leave small puncture wounds on the neck, like I gave him."

I can't actually see my neck, but I can feel two small holes on the side of my neck. I can also feel extreme shooting pain, because I just poked a fresh stab wound in my neck. Way to go, genius.

"From the pictures you showed me the creature you're looking for isn't a vampire."

"Alright," Momiji asks, "so how many other things are there that drink human blood?"

"Oh, there's plenty. There's the moroi, the varcolac, the pricolici, and a few dozen others. Human blood is one of the richest sources of life energy there is, so there are plenty of species that subsist on it. Oh good, Sakuya is back."

Sakuya is indeed back, this time carrying a dark red towel and a roll of cloth bandages which she sets on the table. She then uses the towel to wipe my blood off Remilia's face.

"Good idea to hide the bloodstains with the red towel," Momiji remarks.

"This towel was white when I bought it," Sakyua says, having finished cleaning Remilia's face. She now takes the bandages and starts wrapping my neck.

"While you're here we have a question for you, Sakuya," I say.

"And what would that be?" She finishes bandaging my neck and puts the roll back on the table.

"When I read what people know about you, 'weapons expert' keeps popping up over and over. The weapon used was from the Outside World, but we believe that someone here in Gensokyo made the ammunition. We're hoping you might know of anyone with the know-how to make the ammo."

"What type of weapon was it, exactly?"

"A handgun," I say, slowly pulling mine out of its holster, "like this one." I hand it to her so she can look at it.

"It is true that I am an expert in many weapons, including guns. I actually have quite a few guns that I practice with from time to time." She hands the gun back to me.

"Really?" Remilia asks. "I never knew that!"

"Sometimes when i finish my work at the mansion, I will go into the forest and practice shooting fairies."

"That sounds cool! I wanna see what this gun does!"

"Ben, do you think you could demonstrate your weapon for the Mistress?"

"I suppose so…" I need to find something to shoot. Aya? Nah, too easy. Momiji? She'd cut my face off if I tried. There's got to be something…ah! That'll do.

"Mind if I borrow this watermelon?"

"But I was going to eat that later!" Remilia whines.

"Don't worry, you'll still be able to eat it. It's just that watermelons are really similar to human heads, so it'll give you an idea of what the gun can do."

"Oooh, show me show me!"

"You might want to stand back and cover your ears." I turn the dial on the gun to 'bullet' and aim it at the unsuspecting melon. I pull the trigger and ***BANG***. The melon explodes into a million pieces.

"That was so amazing!" Remilia yells, her voice full of childish glee. "Sakuya, you need to take me with you next time you go fairy hunting!"

"I will do that, My Lady."

"That being done," I say, "back to the matter at hand. Where do you get your bullets, Sakuya?"

"I get them from a human man living in the Forest of Magic. I'm afraid I don't know exactly where he lives, but the magician that introduced me to him should know."

"And who would that be?" Momiji asks.

"Marisa," Sakuya answers. "Marisa Kirisame."

* * *

**Hello again! What better way to end the year than with a new chapter of Lucid Dream? Getting wasted at a party, obviously, but that's not the point.**

**Now if you've actually read this far I have a favor to ask you. See, I have absolutely no idea whether my writing is any good. Every time I post a chapter I see a few people fav/follow the story, but I don't know if anyone actually likes it. If you can, put a few sentences in a review. It'll really help!**

**Meso out.**


	8. Chapter 8

"What's with the knives?" Aya asks, pulling one of Sakuya's blades out of her neck.

"It's how I deal with annoying poultry," Sakuya answer.

"Aw, look who's up," Momiji snarks. "Come on, we're leaving."

"Huh? Where?"

"Marisa Kirisame's house," I answer. "She knows a weapons manufacturer who probably made the ammunition for our killer."

"You know how to get there Aya?" Momiji asks.

"Of course I know!" Aya shouts. "Just give me a second to get this last one…" She pulls the last knife free from her thigh. "…out. There!" She hands the knife to Sakuya, who pockets it without saying anything.

_Don't pray on your knees/Just, beg on your hands/There is no belief/In this promised land_

I look at my phone to see who's calling. 635-664-5674.

"Great, a number I don't recognize," I mutter, grabbing my phone and putting it to my ear. "Who the fuck are you and how did you get this number?"

A girl's voice answers. _"Keine Kamishirasawa gave me your number and told me to call you, prick. Is this how always talk to new people?"_

"I-I'm sorry about that. Let me try again. Hello, may I ask who's calling?"

_"That's more like it,"_ the girl says. _"I'm Reimu Hakurei, Gensokyo's premier shrine maiden and youkai exterminator. That were-hakutaku said there was some unknown youkai causing trouble and told me to call this number. Are you the guy I'm supposed to beat up or something?"_

"No I'm not, and I'm going to have to ask that you don't to that anyway."

_"Aw, you're no fun!"_

"Whatever. Anyway, name's Ben. I'm an Outsider helping the tengu look for this youkai."

_"Wait, why are the tengu working with an Outsider?"_

"Know what? I'm on my way to Marisa Kirisame's house. Why don't you head over there and I'll fill you in when I get there."

_"Marisa? The hell you want with her? Hate to break it to you but she doesn't swing that way."_

Why does everyone assume I'm trying to get laid 100% of the time?

"It's about the youkai, alright? Someone said she might know someone we need to talk to. Again, I'll explain all this when I get there."

_"Fine, but one quick question. Is Aya Shameimaru one of the tengu you're working with?"_

"Yeah."

_"Ok, I'll bring my extra-strength gohei then. See ya!"_

I hang up and put my phone back on my belt.

"Who was that?" Momiji asks.

"Reimu," I answer. "She's meeting us at Marisa's. We should probably get going."

"It's been wonderful having you," Remilia says. "You simply must visit again!"

"As a guest," I ask, "or a snack?"

She gives a toothy (fangy?) grin and asks "why not both?"

* * *

"Are we almost there Aya?" Momiji asks.

We're flying high over the Forest of Magic looking for Marisa's house. Momiji's got me under her arm, so I'm just scanning the ground looking for a house. You know, I'm not sure why they call it the Forest of Magic. It's a forest, sure, but the only magic I've seen is a peek up Aya's-NEVERMIND NOTHING TO SEE HERE MOVE ALONG.

"Just about," Aya replies. "It's just about-oh, there it is!"

She points…somewhere off in the distance. Damn tengu and their impeccable ability to see things. Oh wait, there it is. I can see the roof of a house peeking out from the trees. We dive down and land near the front door. From the ground, I can see it's a two-story cottage with white-painted walls and a wooden roof. There are windows on both stories but I can't see anything through them. The bottom floor windows have shutters covering them, and the top floor, how do I describe it? There's just…stuff. I don't really know how to describe it. Just floor to ceiling junk. Books, clothes, plates, all sorts of crap.

"Damn," Momiji says, "this place is a mess! You sure this is her house?"

"Yup!" Aya says. "This is definitely Marisa's place."

"Why the hell is her house trashed like that?"

"It's because she has a habit of 'borrowing' things," a voice answers behind us answers. I turn around and see a girl with long, flowing brown hair tied in a large bow and a red-and-white dress. She's carrying a large gohei in her hands, and before anyone can say anything she walks over to Aya and whacks her over the head. Aya covers her head and crouches into a fetal position, but the girl keeps at it.

"Ayayayaya, the hell's wrong with you Reimu?!"

"You know exactly what you did Aya," Reimu grunts, continuing her assault on the crow tengu.

"Aw, come on! It was just a few pairs of pan-*KRNCH*" Aya's plea gets cut short by Reimu's knee slamming into her face. She crumples to the ground and sputters "alright, alright. I'll give them back to you."

"Good," Reimu sighs, walking over to Momiji and me. "You must be the guy I talked to earlier. Only an Outsider would dress like that."

Well fuck you too.

"By the way, the hell happened to your neck?"

"I was just at Remilia Scarlet's mansion," I say. "Apparently she was hungry."

"Yeah," Reimu says, "that'll happen. So what'd you want to talk to me about?"

"Why don't we go inside?" Momiji suggests. "We need to talk to Marisa too."

"Fine," Reimu sighs, walking to Marisa's door. Instead of knocking, she just yanks it open and walks in. "Oy, Marisa! There's some tengu here to talk to you!" I hear a muffled response from inside, and Reimu comes back to the door waving us in. "Come on in, but keep Aya in check!"

"Alright," Momiji says, pulling Aya off the ground. "Watch yourself, got it?"

"Aw, you're no fun!"

"You've said that before," I say. "But seriously, keep the perving to a minimum. If you keep us from learning anything important I'll shoot your fucking legs off, got it?"

"***GULP*** Uh, sure thing."

"Damn Ben," Momiji says, "where'd that come from?"

"Every second I'm not slicing Kenji's neck open feels like I'm suffocating," I say. "So when we have a lead like this, I've got a very low tolerance for bullshit."

The first floor of Marisa's house is surprisingly clean, considering how it looked from the outside. The main area looks like a kitchen/living room with some cabinets and a large, low wooden table. There's a staircase against the wall leading upstairs and a door on the opposite side. The door opens and a blond-haired girl in a black and white dress and matching witch hat walks in.

"Yo, tengu! What's happenin'?" the girl yells.

"Uh, hi there Marisa," Aya mumbles.

"Gods, Aya, are you alright?" Marisa asks. "No yelling? No tips on what I should do to Alice next time she comes over? You sick or somethin'?"

"She's like that because of me," I say.

"You?" Marisa asks. "What'd you do to shut up Aya like that? You got her tied up all sexy-like under her clothes or somethin'?"

"I've got her on a bit of a short leash," I say. "Metaphorically, I mean. We're here on business, and I'm not going to put up with her usual bullshit."

"I see you've gotten to know Aya pretty well. So who the heck are ya anyway?"

"Name's Ben. I'm an Outsider helping the tengu track down a dangerous youkai."

"Dangerous youkai, you say?" Marisa asks. There's a big glint in her eyes at the mention of a youkai on the loose. "Well why didn't ya say so? Take a seat and tell me all 'bout it!"

"Alright," I say, sitting down at the table, "first thing's first. I have an ability I call Hivemind Telekinesis. It allows me to read the collective thoughts about a subject in a given population, so I already know who you are. Actually, that's why I asked Reimu to meet us here. I know you two are the go-to youkai exterminators in Gensokyo."

"You're damn right we are!" Marisa exclaims. "There ain't nothin' we can't deal with!"

"Well, that's the thing," I say. "I can tell you this right now: you can't deal with this one."

"Who do you think you are telling us what we're capable of?" Reimu asks with a heavy frown on her face. "Do you know the kind of youkai we've dealt with?"

"Yeah!" Marisa yells. "We take out youkai in our sleep stronger than anything you can take on!"

"Look," I sigh, "I know that. But this isn't about strength; it's about motive. The guy we're after isn't just fucking around like the youkai you're dealing with. Yesterday he killed a family of three in the tengu village."

"So what?" Reimu asks, clearly annoyed with me. "Death for youkai is like a scratch. Why are you getting so worked up about it?"

"Because," Momiji answers, "they weren't just killed. They were sealed too. It's the same for us as murder is for you humans."

"Ok, so ya got someone fuckin' with some youkai," Marisa says. "Why should we be worried?"

"Because-oh fuck it. You two just aren't getting it. Aya, show them the pictures you took from the village."

"Ayaya? You sure about that?"

"Just do it already," I say, burying my brow in my hand. This is taking way too damn long. I look up when I hear two shocked gasps from across the table. Marisa is just blankly staring at Aya's camera and Reimu is covering her mouth, clearly trying not to throw up.

"I think they get the picture Aya," I say, prompting the tengu to take her camera back. "The guy we're looking for did that a few days ago to a woman in the human village. He also did that to at least six more people in the Outside World including, including my sister. This guy is like a shadow. No one ever saw him or heard him and he left no evidence other than mangled bodies."

"Oh gods," Reimu says. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to regain her composure. "I've never seen anything like that. Just what the fuck is he?"

"We talked to Remilia Scarlet earlier," Momiji says, "and according to her he's something like a vampire, but we aren't sure what. All we know is that he really seems to like human blood."

"Aw, who cares what this guy likes?!" Marisa exclaims. "I'll just find him and shove a Master Spark up his ass. Works every time!"

"Mabye," I say, "but he'll have ripped your throat out and drained your blood before you knew he was there."

"So what are we s'posed to be doin' then?" Marisa asks.

"We find him," Momiji says, "and you're going to help us do it."

"Didn't you just say we won't be able to find him?" Reimu asks.

"Not just by flying around, you won't," Momiji answers. "We're going to track his accomplices and get them to tell us where to find the bastard."

"Wait," Reimu asks with a glint of fear in her eyes, "what accomplices?"

"We've gotten reports of multiple different people related to the crime scenes," I answer. More importantly, we know for a fact that someone is making weaponry for him. We think it's someone Marisa knows."

"Hey, I know lotsa weapon makers," Marisa says. "You're gonna need to be more specific than that."

"He's using a gun. And not a slow-loading musket; he's using a modern gun with self-contained bullets."

Marisa puts her hand on her chin and closes her eyes, clearly trying to think of someone who makes the weapons I'm talking about. After a few seconds she snaps her fingers and opens her eyes.

"I know just the guy!" she says. "He makes all sortsa weapons from the Outside World. Name's Greg or somethin'."

"Show us where he lives," Momiji says.

"I don't know if that's-"

"I wasn't asking!" the wolf tengu barks. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and starts talking in a low, angry tone. "Look, Marisa. I'm trying to catch an enemy of the tengu village and an all-around monster. I don't care if he's a friend or what. You're going to tell me where to find this guy even if I have to start snapping some limbs. You hear me?"

"Woah, woah, hold up! He lives in the human village, but he does all his business in a shack about ten minutes from here. And no worries; I'll take ya there."

We all leave Marisa's house and follow her through the woods for a few minutes. Momiji wanted to fly there, but Marisa says she only knows how to get to Greg's place on foot. As we walk the sun starts setting. At least I think it does. The trees are so thick you can't even see the sky clearly. Eventually we arrive at small wooden shed hidden among a particularly dense patch of trees.

"Damn," Reimu says, "this place is really well hidden."

"That's kinda the point," Marisa says. "He's told me he wanted to keep his business on the down low, ya know?"

"You think he's here?" I ask.

"Nah. You can always see a light coming from underneath the door when he's around."

"Good." I walk up and inspect the door. It's locked with a badass-looking padlock, but the piece screwed into the door looks old as hell. I put out my shoulder and slam the door as hard as I can.

***KRAKK***

"Woah, what the fuck are you doing?" Marisa asks.

"Investigating," I say. "I want to make sure this is the guy who helped the killer."

"But you can't just go breaking into someone's house like that!"

The four of us turn and just stare at Marisa for a few seconds. Eventually she gets the message. The 'holy fuck are you fucking kidding me and did I mention the word fuck?' message. In response she just shrugs her shoulders.

"Hey, at least I try not to break in."

"Yeah, whatever," I mutter, reaching inside and finding a light switch. A single bulb hanging from the ceiling flickers on. The interior of the shed can't be more than seven feet square, with just enough room for two people to walk by each other. One side of the shed is a wooden workbench, and the other is floor-to-ceiling shelves full of all sorts of tools. At the very back is a metal locker. It doesn't seem locked to I walk across the shack and open it up. It's filled with dozens of small cardstock boxes. I grab one labeled '9-MIL'and pull the top off.

"Bingo!"

"What'd you find?" Momiji asks, stepping into the shed behind me.

"Take a look for yourself," I say, turning around to show her the contents of the box. "Bullets. Just like the ones the killer used." Momiji pulls one out and turns it over in her hand.

"No markings," she says. "Just like the ones at both scenes."

"Hey Marisa," I ask, "Do you know anyone else who makes these?"

"Nope!" she says, pulling herself up on the workbench. "He's the only guy I've heard of that makes those sorts of things. Not sure why he makes 'em though. He's told me they're for fending off youkai but magic's way easier if ya ask me."

"We don't have magic in the outside world," I answer. "When you need something dead a gun's about the easiest way to make that happen." I swing my backpack off and throw the bullets inside.

Marisa lets out a low whistle.

"And here I thought they were just a cool thing that went boom."

"Yeah, well, you can use them for that too. Just don't fuck with them too much from now on."

"What do ya mean?"

"I mean you can keep all this stuff. He won't be using any of it after I'm done with him." I walk past Marisa and Momiji out of the shed and grab my phone. "Hey, Aya. What's Keine's number? I should tell her what we found."

"I think it was 568-328-3224," she says. I dial the number and put the phone to my ear. After a few seconds of ringing, Keine answers.

_"Hello?"_

"It's Ben," I say. "We found who made the killer's bullets. It's someone in the village."

_"What?! Who?"_

"His name's Greg. You know him?"

_"Yeah, I do. He lives on the edge of the village. He makes fireworks in a shop behind his house."_

"Well, he's been making weapons in a shack out in the woods."

_"Thanks, we'll go grab him. You'll want to talk to him, I assume?"_

"Yeah, but be careful. We didn't find any actual weapons out here. He's probably got them in his house."

_"Alright, we'll be careful. See you in a bit."_ She hangs up, and I put my phone away.

"They gonna go grab him?" Momiji asks, leaving the shack.

"Yeah," I say, "and they're waiting for us to come and deal with him."

Reimu and Marisa stay at the shack while Momiji, Aya, and I fly off to the village. Night fell while we were searching the shed, and the landscape is now a murky black. By the time we get there Keine is already waiting for us at a house on the edge of the village, standing next to a porch light. It must be Greg's house. With her is a smiling short green-haired girl in a blue and black dress with gold trim.

"Oh great," Aya says as we land, "what's the yama doing here?"

"Hello to you too, Miss Shameimaru," the girl says in a cheerful voice. "Have you been keeping that lust in check?"

"Nope," Momiji and I say in unison.

"Thought so," the girl chuckles. "To answer your question, I'm here because the soul of a recently deceased human never made it to the Sanzu River. At first I thought that Komachi was slacking off again, but it seems that the soul was prevented from reaching the river somehow."

"What do you think caused that?" I ask.

"Perhaps I should introduce myself," the girl says to me. "I'm Eiki Shiki, the Supreme Judge of Paradise. I judge the sins of both the living and dead. I've been doing this for a while, but I've never seen anything quite like the human that was killed here a few days ago. It's almost as if her soul was sealed like a youkai."

"Who or what could do that?" I ask.

"To be honest, I'm not sure."

"Great," I mutter. That's the last thing I wanted to hear. In the meantime I need info to track down that motherfucker. I'll deal with what he is later. "Keine, is this Greg's house?"

"Yeah, and we've already searched it. There's what look like some weapons, but nothing really linking him to the murder. He wasn't home, so the village guards grabbed him at the market and are bringing him here now."

"Did he put up a fight?" Momiji asks.

"Nah," Keine says with a dismissive wave. "We ambushed him and tied him up before he knew what was happening. Ah, there he is now."

I turn to see two of the guards we dealt with earlier leading a man with his hands tied behind his back down the street. It's dark, but as they get closer I can he that he has blond hair and is wearing a grey t-shirt and jeans. Definitely an outsider. The guards stop and throw him on his knees about five feet from us.

"You must be Greg," I say.

"Who the fuck are you?" he grunts.

"I'm Ben," I say, walking up to him and kneeling down to talk to him. "I'm working with the humans and tengu in tracking a serial killer. And guess what? You're going to help me find him."

"Serial killer? What are you talking about?"

"The guy who killed the woman here in the village," I answer, "as well as a family of three in the tengu village."

"Who the fuck cares about some damn youkai?" he yells, prompting Momiji to walk over and punch him square in the face.

"I do, you piece of shit!" she yells. As she moves her fist back I can see that his nose is very broken, with blood streaming down his face.

"Get your filthy hands off of me, you fucking youkai!" he shouts. As he does, I notice a chain hidden under his shirt. I grab it and pull it out, revealing a set of dog tags around his neck.

ANDERSON  
GREG B.  
467885877  
O NEG  
DELTA FORCE

"Well this explains the propensity towards guns," I say, ripping one of the tags off his neck. "You're Delta. Gotta say, pretty badass. But I have to ask: did they forget to teach you not to help people who kill US citizens?"

"The hell you talking about?"

"The guy we're after killed six people in Oklahoma before coming here."

He doesn't say anything for a few seconds, and then looks down at the ground.

"Look," he says, "I enlisted to protect the innocent from evil men. About five years ago I was on assignment in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban. I saw the effect they had on the locals. People were too terrified to leave their homes. Every time they went to get food or water they had to look over their shoulders for gunmen. I did everything I could to help protect those people."

"Then one day my unit got ambushed by a group of insurgents. The last thing I remember seeing was the flash of an RPG aiming right at me. The next thing I knew I was laying on my back in the middle of a forest. The first living thing I saw was a damn monster disguised as a little girl. I shot that thing and at least a half-dozen more as I made my way through the forest. Eventually I made my way to this village, and it was just like Afghanistan. The people here were living in constant fear of these monsters, these youkai. At least once a month someone disappeared and all they'd find is a mutilated corpse."

"So I did what I've always done: I protect people. I try to get that bitch Keine on board with getting rid of youkai, but you know what she says? She says I shouldn't do anything to the fucking things! So I go build a workshop out in the woods and start making guns and give them to some other good humans who get the picture." He looks up at me and keeps talking.

"Then a few weeks ago a guy comes by my place and says he needs protection from youkai. He tells me that a youkai killed his girlfriend and almost killed him. Says he's gonna go out and kill all the youkai he can find with a gun he picked up. So what do I do? I give him a few hundred rounds and tell him to make 'em suffer. I didn't know he was a serial killer. All I knew was that he was gonna make the world a better place for us humans."

"What else did he say?" I ask.

"He said he's hiding out in somewhere called 'The Underground'."

"Good enough for me," I say, standing back up. I pull my gun out of its holster and set it to 'bullet'. He just chuckles at this.

"Kid, you ever kill anyone before?"

"Actually, yeah. My sister was killed about a month ago, so I tracked down the people who did it and blew their brains out."

"That's real brotherly love, man. Know what? Just go ahead and fucking shoot me. I can't live knowing I aided the kind of guy I swore to stop. But before you do, I gotta know: why are you working with those damn youkai?" He gestures at Momiji and Aya.

"They're tengu," I say with a shrug. "They're tight with humans. Saying they're bad because they're youkai is like saying Israel is an enemy of the US because it's in the Middle East."

"Aw hell," he says, shaking his head. I take the gun and point it at his forehead.

"You don't need to kill him," Shiki says. "Even if you've already killed people, you can always stop. It's never too late to repent."

"Really? Then I won't stop until everyone who ever helped him is dead."

***BANG***

* * *

**Well, this chapter was a bitch to write. Lot going on in the last month. I had to change major, I've been spending a lot of time setting up a new fishtank, and I turned 21 so I've been partying every weekend. And I actually had to rewrite the second half of this chapter twice: once because I didn't like how it turned out, and the second because I tried to fix it after drinking enough to drop an oni.**

**Before anyone asks, the guy Ben killed is a US soldier for two reasons: I wanted him to be someone who used guns a lot but didn't have any political slant, given all the bullshit from both sides of the gun control issue in the news lately. Second, I've been playing a lot of MW3 lately.**

**The song used th Ben's ringtone this chapter is "Confusion and Frustration in Modern Times" by Sum 41.**

**I've been considering bumping the rating for this up to M, but i'm not sure. If any of you have insight one way or the other, feel free to take a few seconds to let me know.**

**Til next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

"Ayayayaya! You got some guts Ben!"

"How so?" Ben asks, putting his weapon away.

"Not many people kill somebody in front of a yama."

Ben looks at Shiki and says "huh. I did do that, didn't I?"

"Yeah," I say, "you did. Not the brightest move, kid."

"Oh, don't be so hard on him Momiji," Shiki says, chuckling a bit. "It's not like it would make a difference if I didn't see him do it. I actually find it somewhat admirable that he is so honest about his actions."

"So what, I'm off the hook or something?"

"Oh of course not! We're still going to have a long talk about this when you die."

"What are we going to do about him?" I ask pointing at the guy Ben just killed.

"We'll deal with him," Keine says. "Why don't you look around his house; see if you can find anything to help your search."

"Sounds like a plan," Ben says. "Aya, Momiji, c'mon." As we leave everyone outside I put my arm around Ben's shoulder.

"You alright?"

"Fuck, I have no idea," he sighs. "Last time I did that I felt really chill afterwards, but now I feel completely strung out."

"But last time you killed someone you didn't have an audience." I give him a few pats on the shoulder. "Trust me, kid. You get used to it."

*CLICK*

"Found something!" Aya calls out from inside the house. She's taking a picture of an open closet. When we get there Ben reaches in and pulls out a metal…thing. I'm not sure how to describe it. It looks a bit like a musket but it has a bunch of other stuff on it I don't recognize.

"Is that a weapon?" I ask.

"Yup," Ben says, "it sure as hell is. It's an assault weapon of some sort. AR-15, maybe?"

"What exactly makes that more 'assault' than your gun?"

"That's what they call guns like these" he says. "Mine is pretty common for police and civilians, but this one is military spec. It's got better accuracy and more stopping power. Plus, it's got combat attachments. Holographic sight, select fire, suppressor, all sorts of stuff. Actually, I think this was made in the outside world."

"How can you tell?"

"See this writing?" he asks pointing at some weird markings stamped into the gun.

"That's writing?" I ask. "Looks like scribbles to me."

"You illiterate or something, Momiji? It's plain English."

"The hell is English?"

"It's a language. Same one I'm speaking."

"Uh, Ben? You've been speaking Japanese."

"What are you talking about? I've been speaking English and so have you."

I'd keep calling bullshit on him but Aya starts laughing about something. That's never a good sign.

"Aya? What, exactly, is so funny?"

"Ayayaya! Momi you really need to get out more! You learn things when you talk to people about something other than work."

"I talk to you," I say, my ears drooping, "and I keep regretting it."

"Aw, that hurts!" she says, putting her hands over her heart acting like she actually has normal emotions. "Anyway, there are lots of things you don't know about the border."

"Like what?" Ben asks.

"All the outsiders I've ever talked to speak flawless Japanese no matter where they're from. I've never gotten a straight answer out of Yukari but she implied that the border changes how people understand words so they understand each other even if they speak different languages."

"So why can't Momiji read this?" Ben asks. Aya shrugs.

"Dunno. I guess it works differently for reading."

"Alright," I say, "good to know. So Ben, what exactly does that writing say?"

"All sorts of stuff," he says pointing at part of the 'writing.' "This says 'HK416.' It's the manufacturer, H&K, and the model number, 416. And look how it's actually stamped into the metal. Now if Greg made this himself he wouldn't need to take the time to do this."

"Let me have a look," I say putting my hand out.

"Just a sec," he says. He pulls something off the bottom of the gun and then pulls a latch or something on the side. Something pops out and falls to the ground with a *KLANK*. He nods slightly like he just accomplished something and hands the gun to me. I turn it over in my hands but I can't figure it out. I've seen muskets before but this is nothing like those.

"How the hell do you hold this?" I ask.

"Let me show you," he says. He lightly grabs my right hand and places it on a part sticking out of the gun and reaches around me to place my left under the other end. Then he places it against my right shoulder.

"You grab this part here like this, and then you hold it like this for support, and hold it against here. Now you look through this sight here to aim. To fire you take your index finger and pull that trigger there."

Ok, this makes sense. This feels more stable than what Ben uses. I can see why-

"*CLICK*

"Aw, that's such a sweet embrace! You two look so lovey-dovey!"

I turn and look at Aya through the sight. I center the red dot on her forehead and pull the trigger.

*CLICKCLICKCLICK*

"Ben," I slowly say, "Aya's face is still in one piece. Why is that?"

"Because," he answers as he half steps/half jumps away from me, "I took the ammunition out." He holds up the metal piece he took off earlier and shakes it a bit. "Gotta be careful with these things."

"Whatever," I sigh. I hand the gun back to Ben, walk over to Aya, put my hand on her shoulder, and give her a big smile. Before she has a chance to get any funny ideas I pull her towards me and knee her hard in the stomach. As she crumples to the ground my smile grows a bit bigger. I turn around and say: "you'd think she'd learn by now."

"Actually, I can't imagine her learning," Ben says. He gestures with the gun towards the closet. "It looks like there's a few more in there. What do you think we should do with them?"

"I'll have Nitori reverse engineer them. I want to know exactly what I'm up against."

…

*KAKAW**KAKAW**KAK-

"Ayayayaya, Momi! Great timing! I was just about to get dressed. You want me to stop?"

"No," she says, "put your damn clothes on and meet me at Nitori's place."

"Oh, so you want some more tengu-tengu-kappa action?" Hm, what to wear today?

"Some other time, Aya. I got just got a tip on the phone and I need you to help me look into it."

"What about the new guy?" Bingo! Polka-dots it is!

"He's going to go help Nitori figure out those weapons today."

"Alrighty then! I'll be there in a bit."

I hang up and start putting my clothes on. The bra and panties are first. I've never really understood the need for underwear. All it does is put one more barrier between you and the good bits. But I guess it is fun to take off. Next is the skirt. Oh, how I love skirts. They make panty shots so damn easy. I think I'll go with the all-black one today. It's great with my all-white blouse. Topping it off is the red tokin with the white poofballs. Gotta have the poofballs. All that's left is to throw on some shoes, grab my camera, and fly down to the Kappa village.

Momi's already at Nitori's place by the time I get there. She's leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. Her arms are positioned in just the right way to accentuate her boobs perfectly. I'd take a picture but I think she's spotted me. Oh well, there's always next time.

"Don't bother landing." She pushes herself off the wall and flies up to meet me.

"Mornin' Momi! How's the new guy doing?"

"Eh, he's alright. When we got back he just passed out. Killing is exhausting when you're new at it. I think he'll be fine though. He seemed excited to work with Nitori today."

"So he wants some kappa tail today?"

"He seems more interested in all her inventions than her, actually."

"Well that's a waste. So what's your big scoop?"

"Apparently there's an ice fairy out at Misty Lake that knows something."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Fucking Yukari. She didn't give me any details. Just said 'talk to the ice fairy at Misty Lake' and hung up on me. I bet that bitch could have just told me what I needed to know and she just wants to waste my time. I don't even know any ice fairies."

"Ayaya? You've never met Cirno?"

"If it's an ice fairy, then no."

"Well get ready for your first. Trust me, she's a character."

"You're one to fucking talk Aya."

When we get to the lake I start looking for a ball of snow among the trees at the lakeside. If there's anywhere that fairy is gonna be it's her house.

"There it is!" I point to the white mark on the otherwise green landscape. "Come on Momi."

We fly down and land next to the snowball. It's about as tall as I am with a door that only goes up to my waist. Definitely the right size for a fairy. I reach for the door but Momi grabs my wrist.

"Hold it." I turn to look at her to see if she's serious. Surprise, surprise, she is. Her ears are twitching like crazy. She must be trying to listen in on something. She's so adorable when she's serious like this.

"What do you hear?"

"There's two people in a tree about ten meters behind us. They're talking about us."

"What about us? That they like your ass as much as I do?"

"They're saying the house is booby-trapped somehow. Definitely a trap. I say we launch a preëmptive strike. Danmaku on three."

"I hear ya Momi. 3…2…1…"

We both begin to glow with energy as we turn around to face our unseen targets. A red ball of light forms in front of my chest and splits into dozens of smaller spheres. With a flick of my will I send them shooting at the trees. Momi does the same, her white danmaku mixing beautifully with my red. After a few seconds we stop, allowing a young girl dressed in blue to fall to the ground. She tries to stand up but Momi picks her up by the collar and slams her against the tree. Her six icicle-like wings clink against the wood.

"Let me go! You can't defeat me! Eye am the strongest!" The little girl flails her arms and legs trying to free herself from Momi's grip. Good luck with that.

"Nice try you little shit. Care to tell me what that was all about?"

"Hmph! Eye'll never tell you anything, you ugly mutt!"

Momi pulls back her right fist, but I grab it before she can throw a punch.

"Hey, remember when I said that the fairy we're looking for was a real character?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, say hello to Cirno."

Momi looks at me and then back at Cirno. She shakes my hand off and reforms a fist. Oh well, at least I tried.

"Please, stop!"

I look up and see a face pop out of the tree. Attached to it is another fairy, this one with green hair tied into a ponytail.

"Please don't hurt Cirno!"

"Get out of the tree and give me a reason not to!" Momi lowers her arm but keeps her hand balled in a fist. The girl jumps down and grabs Cirno's arm.

"Dai, what are you doing? Eye'll deal with them! Just get out of here!"

"No! I can't lose you too Cirno!"

Momi looks at me and then lets go of the ice fairy.

"Alright, look. I'm tracking a dangerous youkai and someone said I should talk to you Cirno. Just answer my questions and I won't hurt you. Ok?"

Cirno looks like she's about to yell something but the other fairy squeezes her arm. She sighs and nods.

"Fine. Eye'll talk."

"Ok. First of all, why the ambush?"

"Because Eye'll be damned if that Shadow gets Dai or me!"

"Shadow? What are you talking about?"

The green-haired fairy speaks up.

"A-about a month ago the other fairies started disappearing from the forest. At first we didn't notice but after a while I stopped seeing my friends around. Now Cirno and I are the only ones left."

"And the shadow?"

"Before they disappeared a few of my friends said they saw a figure attacking fairies. It was shaped like a person, but it didn't look like anyone. It morphed right in front of them constantly. None of us knew what it was, but whenever it showed up fairies disappeared."

"One more question: how many fairies have disappeared?"

"Uh…" The green-haired fairy starts counting on her fingers. "L-like dozens. Maybe over a hundred. Oh, gods…" The fairy starts crying. Cirno wraps her arms around the girl to comfort her.

Momi and I look at each other. Even if they're just fairies this is hard to watch.

"Ok, that's all I have to ask. Be careful, alright?"

"Don't worry. Eye won't let anything happen to Dai." Cirno starts patting the other fairy on the head.

Momi nods to me and we take off. Once we're away from the fairies Momi lets out a scream.

"ARGH! Are you fucking KIDDING me? A shape shifter?! How the fuck are we supposed to find this motherfucker now?"

"At least fairies don't have much energy in them. He can't be that powerful."

"Aya, do you have any idea how much life energy is in a hundred fairies? He could be right in front of us and we would never know. Plus, he's armed with Outsider weaponry. We need to rethink our strategy." She pulls out her phone and starts dialing.

"Hey Ben, it's Momiji. Bad fucking news."

* * *

**Holy schedule slip! Eye guess that's what Eye get for trying writing from a different perspective. Eye was going to have this up at the start of the month but Eye had to spend most of February working on stupid papers and taking stupid tests. Oh well. Maybe Eye'll have the next one up early to make up for it.**

**As usual, if you've read this far then take a few seconds to drop a review. Eye know Eye am terrible at this but you could help me be less horrible!**

* * *

**Alright, time to do the end-of-chapter blurb. I-DAMNIT CIRNO WHO LET YOU USE MY COMPUTER?**


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you fucking serious?" I ask.

"Yeah," Momiji answers," I am. "We've got no idea how to find a shape shifter. When Aya and I get to Nitori's we need to come up with a strategy."

"See you in a bit," I say, hanging up.

"What's up?" Nitori asks without looking up from the holographic sight she's tinkering with. Instead of answering I pull my gun out of its holster, flick the safety off, and point it at Nitori's face. She falls out the back of her chair and backs herself into a corner. I follow, keeping the gun trained on her the whole time.

"W-what the f-fuck's wrong with y-you?!" she screams, covering her face.

"When Reimu and Marisa first came up Youkai Mountain to deal with the Moriya Shrine what invention were you testing?" I ask.

"W-what are y-"

"Answer the question!" I growl.

"I, uh, it-it was the, uh, o-optical camouflage, I think. Yeah, it was the camouflage. I remember they s-spotted me after it stopped working. What's gotten into you Ben?!" I lower my gun and sigh.

"Sorry about that," I say, holding out my hand. "Momiji just told me the guy we're after is a shape shifter, so I had to be sure you're actually Nitori." She reaches for my hand but stops and pulls back.

"How do you know that?"

"Not important," I say.

"But how do I know you're really Ben?" she asks.

"Well if I wasn't I probably would have killed you as soon as Momiji and Aya left."

"But what if you knew they would find out about you and you wanted me to tell them you were actually you!"

"I, uh…" I step back and scratch my head. "Well ain't that some shit."

"Just kidding!" she says, standing back up. "I can tell you're a good person."

"You do know I just pointed a gun at your head, right?"

"Yeah, but you didn't shoot me," she says with a big smile. "And you have a look in your eyes that says you're a nice person!" I guess I won't mention that I shot a guy in the face last night. Don't want to ruin the mood.

Not that I get a chance to, because I hear the *THUNK* of the front door slamming open behind me. This can only mean one of two things:

1) Fucking Kenji found me and is here to take his revenge…

"We're here! Wait, are you two done screwing already?"

2) …or it's Aya. Dammit, why'd it have to be #2?

"What do you mean by, uh, screwing?" Nitori asks.

"Aw, don't give me that girlie," Aya says, giving Nitori a wink that is simultaneously extremely cute yet extremely unnerving. "We both know about that secret drawer in your bedroom."

Nitori's face turns redder than the visitor section of the football stadium when we play the University of Oklahoma, except she's actually tolerable to look at. Not for long, anyway, because she pulls her hat off and covers her face with it.

"Do you ever turn your libido off?" I ask.

"Get her drunk," Momiji says, walking in from behind Aya. "She actually gets less horny when she's plastered."

"Great!" I say. "Let's go get some booze then!"

"Not now," she says. "So what do you think about the weapon Nitori?" She nods her head toward the guns on the table. Nitori throws her hat back on, her blush disappears, and she starts talking in a really excited voice. I'm starting to wonder if there's something about Gensokyo that makes everyone act bipolar.

"Well it's a lot more advanced than the last one I worked on," Nitori says. "Its size alone is going to make it more accurate than Ben's. His is only accurate to about 50 meters; this one can hit someone several hundred meters away. It's also able to fire rounds constantly. Plus there's this part at the front that-"

"Hold up," Momiji says with a dismissive wave, "I don't care. How soon can you make me one?"

"It'll, uh…" Nitori takes her hat off and scratches her head with it. "It's going to take at least a week to duplicate the metalwork in it. There are a lot of parts that need to be machined."

"Screw that. Just mod this one to fire the same bullets as his."

"But if you take this one then I won't be able to make any more of them!"

"Good. The last thing I want is to have more of these out there."

"Fine," Nitori says, her shoulders drooping. "If that's what you want I could probably have it ready for you in a couple of days."

"Alright." Momiji pulls herself onto Nitori's workbench and sits on the edge slowly kicking her legs in the air. "So, do you want to know what me and Aya just found out?"

"Is it the shape-shifty thing?" Nitori asks. "Ben mentioned it after putting his gun to my head."

"He what?!" Momiji says, jumping off the workbench. She walks up to me, grabs my collar, and pushes me against the wall. "I get what you did last night but going after Nitori is unacceptable! You need to –"

"Whoa, calm down!" Nitori puts her hand on Momiji's shoulder. "He just freaked out after you called. It's nothing serious."

Momiji looks at Nitori before releasing her grip on me.

"Watch yourself," she says, pointing her finger in my face. "You do anything else to her and I'll take my sword and show you what your liver looks like. Got it?"

"Got it." No funny retort here. My liver probably hates me for what I've put it through and I don't want to have to face it.

"Good." Momiji leans against the workbench. "So Ben, you have any ideas on how to hunt a shapeshifter?"

"Let me think." How do you find someone who doesn't have the decency to look the same all the time? Didn't I see a movie about that a few months ago? It was a bunch of scientists hunting an alien in Antarctica. How did they catch the alien again? Wait, alien? "Nue."

"What?"

"Nue Houjuu. She's a youkai that can change her appearance. I think she lives at Myouren Temple. I've got no idea how to find this bastard but I bet she does."

"Nue, huh? You heard of her Aya?"

"Yeah, the name rings a bell. I've heard she's a bit of a bitch, but it's worth a shot. On the plus side, I've also head she doesn't wear panties ." Dammit Aya, you shouldn't say something like that with hearts! Now Momiji's going to sma-Nitori and Momiji aren't reacting? Alright, I'll play along. "Shall we head out?"

"Yeah," Momiji says, "let's go." She heads for the door and I follow.

"Before you leave," Nitori says, "I want to ask you something Momiji. How does Ben know so much about Gensokyo? Earlier he asked me something an Outsider shouldn't know about."

Momiji stops and looks at me and then Nitori. "Not important. Just get that weapon ready for me." The day has already begun giving way to night as we fly off.

…

"Oh, we have some visitors!" The green-haired girl sweeping the entrance stops what she's doing to greet us. "Welcome to the-oh, it's you." The girl narrows her eyes at Aya.

"Ayaya? What that look for?"

"I haven't forgotten that article you wrote about my band. Our songs aren't 'noise'; they're an expression of the _heart_! A stupid crow like you wouldn't understand!" The girl closes her eyes and sticks her tongue out at Aya. Even though we came here for serious reasons, I can't help but chuckle at the girl. Well not at her exactly. More like what's about to happen to her. The girl notices and turns her attention towards me. "Hey, what are you laughing at? Are you here to hate on me too?"

I draw a circle in the air with my finger and say "you might what to turn around."

"What are you-" the color drains from the girls face. "She's behind me isn't she?"

"Aw, what's that supposed to mean Kyouko?"

The girl slowly turns her head to face the woman standing behind her. She has long purple and brown hair flowing over her black and white dress.

"Uh, I'm sorry about that Ms. Byakuren. I didn't see you there."

"I think we both know that's not the problem," the woman replies with a motherly smile. "We've talked before about being rude to visitors. I think reciting more sutras would help you understand."

"But…I…" The girl looks back at us, pleading for sympathy. I just smirk and shake my head.

"Sorry, but you kinda walked into this one."

The girl glares at me for a second before bowing her head and walking into the temple. Once she's out of sight the purple-haired woman says "I'm terribly sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it," Aya says. "That girl just needs to learn how to handle criticism."

"I suppose so. But regardless, that's start over." The woman clasps her hands together and bows. "Welcome to the Myouren Temple. I'm Byakuren Hijiri, the resident nun. How can I help you on your path t enlightenment?"

"I'm Momiji Inubashiri, head of the Tengu Village police. I'm hoping to talk to one of the residents of your temple about a string of murders. Nue Houjuu, specifically."

"Nue?!" Byakuren's eyes widen and she covers her mouth with her hand. "She couldn't have done any such thing! The girl loves to scare humans but she'd never-"

"Woah, hold up," I say. "Let me clarify something. We don't actually think Nue did anything. In fact, we know it was someone else. We want to talk to her because we think the killer has an ability similar to hers and want some advice."

"Oh? Well that's alright then. I'll take you to her."

Really? Just like that? How does she know I didn't make that up and we're actually here to kill her or something?

"Before I do that, though, I'm going to have to ask you to leave your weapons here Miss Inubashiri. I don't allow weapons of any sort in the temple."

Ok, I guess she's not too naïve.

"Fine," Momiji says, rolling her eyes. She pulls her sword and shield off her back and places them against a wall.

"Great! Let me show you to Nue's usual hiding spot." Byakuren walks past us out of the temple and goes around the side. Aya and I start to follow her but Momiji grabs my arm and stops me. Aya looks back at us and winks before heading after Byakuren.

"What's up Momiji?"

"Listen, I get her not wanting me to bring weapons into a temple but I feel naked without anything to protect myself with. Don't you have some stuff in your bag?"

"Yeah, I have a knife in this pocket here," I say patting the side of the backpack. "If anything happens feel free to grab it."

"Great, thanks. Now let's go catch up before Aya gets any funny ideas."

"Ha! We both know it's too late for that."

After running a bit we catch up to Byakuren and Aya, interrupting what sounds like a conversation about Buddhism.

"Ayaya, there you two are. Couldn't wait to steal a smooch 'til you got home, could you?"

Called it! But now Byakuren is smiling at us. Don't tell me she actually believes Aya.

"You're a couple, are you? It's so wonderful seeing a youkai and a human so close!"

Fuck fuckity fuck.

"So how did you two get so close?"

"We're really not," I answer. "I have a personal interest in finding the fucker they're after so I'm helping them."

"Oh," she responds.

Is she actually disappointed that Momiji and I aren't screwing or anything. You depraved little-

"Here we are!"

We stop next to a dense cluster of trees.

"So…where is she?" Momiji asks.

"Oh, she's probably disguised herself as one of these trees." Byakuren cups her hands around her mouth and calls out "Nue, dear? We have some guests that would like to talk to you."

…

"Oh well, I guess she wants to keep hiding. When she's like this we usually just let her be."

"We don't have time for that," I say. "We'll get her to come out."

I start reaching for my gun but Momiji elbows me in the side. Oh yeah, no weapons. Guess I'm actually going to need to think about this. Now how does Nue's ability work again? It's times like this that I wish I was good enough at Touhou to play the extra stages. I think it was 'hiding her true form' or some quasi-mysterious title like that. She, uh, looked different depending on who's looking right? Wait…

"Follow me," I say walking into the trees, the other three close behind.

"You got an idea?" Momiji asks.

"I think so. Say, what kind of trees are these anyway?"

"Red pine," she answers. They don't look like the pine trees I've seen. They're all trunk most of the way up with a bit of green at the top. Except for one. It's about five feet tall and is a perfect cone of pine needles. The thing looks like a damn Christmas tree.

"Look at that one," I say, pointing to it. "Does it look different to you?"

"Looks the same to me," Aya says. "You might want to get your eyes checked."

"Bingo." But I want to be sure, so I walk up to it and put my hand out. Rather than pine tree-ish, it feels soft. Like, really soft. And warm too. I'd go on but one of the tree's branches reaches up and smacks me in the face, hurling me to the ground.

"Easy there boy," the tree says in an annoyingly playful voice, "you can look all you want but touching is extra." The tree starts glowing so brightly that I have to put my arm up to cover my eyes. When the light subsides a black-haired girl is standing in its place. What's more interesting is what's coming out of her back. On the left side there are three blue tentacles, and on the right there are three red spikes. And what's even more interesting is how her black dress perfectly shows off her thi-NOPE NOT THE TIME.

"Ayayayaya! So where's he touch you?"

"Oh ho, this boy's pretty daring," the girl says, a devious smile appearing on her face. "I'm just standing here and he walks up and grabs my-"

"AHEM." Momiji clears her throat. "You two can swap groping stories later, but I have some business to deal with. I'm guessing you're Nue?"

"Who knows? I was a pine tree a moment ago." The girl kneels down next to me and starts poking my cheek. "Speaking of which, how'd you know where I was? I don't know many people that walk around feeling up random trees."

"We've got different pine trees where I'm from," I say. I swat her hand away, revealing that, uh, how do I put this?

"I say old chap, it would appear that your crow friend was right about this girl's fashion choices. Quite a good view, isn't it?"

You know, I'd yell at you but you actually have a point. Now shut up.

"Oh, aren't you daring!" She leans in close; her piercing blood-red eyes staring at me. "How about I give you a taste of the unknown?"

"I'm going to have to pass on your offer Nue." I reach up to her face and push her away, causing her to fall on her butt. With her out of my way I pull myself up and brush the dirt off my clothes.

"It looks like he won't take the bait," Byakuren says.

"Damnit! What more do I need to do to get some action? Do you know how boring it gets when you're sealed underground for a few centuries?"

"Try not pretending you're a tree," Momiji says, "I hear hardwood is a big turnoff for guys. Now I don't really care if you try him again later but can you talk to us a bit first?"

"Fine." Nue rolls her eyes and stands up. "So what do you want?"

"We're looking for a youkai that's been killing youkai and humans," Momiji says. "As far as we can tell the guy is some sort of shape shifter like you. We need some advice on hunting someone like that."

"Like hell I will! It took me years to learn how to blend in, and I'm not about to give up my secrets to-"

_I see, the blood all over your hands/ Does it make you feel, more like a man?/ Was it all, just a part of your plan?/ The pistols' shakin'-_

Who the hell is calling me now? Let's see…the number's 444-444-4444. That's always a good sign, right? Right?!

"The fuck do you want?"

"Oh please," Kenji says. "Is that how you say hello to an old friend?"

"Well look who decided to poke his ugly little head out of the shadows! How's being dead been for you?"

"Wouldn't knOw," he says. As he talks his voice starts to morph into an inhuman static before settling as an old man's voice. "It takEs mOrE thAn A bIt of lEad to keep me down. Try silver next time. Or maybe kryptonite."

"I'll keep that in mind." I sling my backpack off my shoulder and toss it over to Momiji. She zips it open and pulls out the knife, much to Byakuren's chagrin.

"Momiji! I specifically forbade you from bringing weapons into the temple!"

"Duly fucking noted," I say, pulling my own weapon out of its holster.

"Aw, sounds like you got yourself a bitchy girlfriend. Why don't you let me take care of that?"

"I'm good. Why don't we meet up instead? We'll go round two in 'I blow your face off.' I already got some practice on your gun supplier."

"No big loss. That Delta Force dipshit was so blind from his self-righteous bullshit that I could've ripped someone's face off in front of him and he'd still give me goods."

"Well dipshit or not he's dead now, and you're next."

"SurE yOu wIll," he says. His voice morphs back into the static as he talks. "YOU kEEp tAlkIng lIkE yOU'rE sOmE hOtshOt, bUt tO mE yOU'rE jUst thAt prIck whO sIts On hIs Ass plAyIng _COD_ All dAy. And dOn't Act lIke yoU know me." He settles into an all too familiar voice.

"You have no idea who I really am," my sister says.

*CLICK*

He hangs up, and I stand there for a second looking at my phone.

"What the fuck's going on?" Momiji asks.

"Kenji called to say 'hi'. The fucker was sayi-"

I hear a branch above me crack, followed by an object falling to the ground in front of me. It's a bamboo cylinder a few inches long, with a piece of burning fuse sticking out one end. For a split second I watch the fuse disappear, noticing several identical objects fall to the ground nearby.

***BANG***

…

Huh? W-what the fwah? Where am I? Why-why can't I move? A-and I can't breathe! What the f-

"Well isn't that interesting," a voice says. "I didn't expect you to wake up so quickly."

I slowly open my eyes. Everything is a white blur, save for a yellow figure to my side. Where do I know that voice?

"Don't strain yourself dear. All you need to know is that you're in the hospital."

I try to respond but something keeps my lips from moving.

"Don't try to talk. There's a tube down your throat."

A tube? Hospital? What the hell?

"You were in a coma. That must have been some dream you were having."

What? Dream? So all that stuff with Gensokyo and Touhou was…? I blink a few times, and my world becomes a bit clearer. The white blur becomes walls and lights and tubes, and the figure becomes someone in scrubs. A very familiar someone.

"So what do you think?" Yukari asks, running a hand through her blond hair. "How do you like me as a nurse? You know, I should do this more often. What do you call it? Cosplay! That's it."

"But enough fun. After all, you were seriously hurt. Apparently some, shall we say, _distracted_ driver hit you while you were jogging. Whoever hit you was probably some _beautiful_ and _young_ girl. Or at least that's what I hear."

She picks up something long and thin from a tray near my feet. She walks past my head and reaches for something with it.

"Just go back to sleep. And when you wake up, give the tengu my regards."

The scene around me gets smaller and smaller, until it's just a pinpoint of light. That light gives way to darkness and I begin to feel my body fall.

* * *

**The ringtone this chapter is from "Always" by Saliva.**

Wow, that took long enough. So I would have liked to have this out in April, but stuff kept happening. First it was finals, and then it was having to clean up after a monster tornado near my place.

**I was planning on saying some things about myself to celebrate Lucid Dream lasting a year, but to be honest I'm running low on the brain after the last couple of months. Maybe next time.**

**I've said it before but if you're liking the story let me know in a review. Same if you're not liking it.**


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